In Al-Anon, we have to overcome denial.
When we realise how crazy the sitch is, it's a great relief.
But it's not a great idea to stay trapped there, continuing to complain about the craziness.
There're a bunch of recovery stages beyond the release from denial.
This means that I have to stop demonising the qualifier, and I have to Quit Taking It Personally (Q-TIP).
In Al-Anon, I try to stick to me, not to them. The qualifier is simply unwell.
Al-Anon meetings, in particular, are not an appropriate venue to stitch 'em up.