A great lesson in recovery is to learn how to say 'yes' or 'no'.
That is, to say 'yes' without:
- Complaining that I have been asked to do the task
- Complaining that someone else did not do the task
- Immediately discounting my performance
- Managing expectations
- Expressing doubt that I will be able to do the task
- Wondering whether someone else might not do the task instead
- Offering the task to others to do
And to say 'no' without:
- Fudging by offering second-rate alternatives
- Explaining
- Justifying
- Defending my decision
- Expressing my wish to do the task
- Expressing my regret that I cannot do the task
- Expressing my intention to do the task on some other occasion
- Counteroffering an entirely different task
- Saying how guilty I feel
- Saying how embarrassed I feel
- Trying to manipulate the feelings of the person who asked me
And to avoid:
- Refusing to answer clearly yes or no by wittering about the task
- Asking endless follow-up questions
- Negotiating the task
- Filling the air with words to cover my embarrassment.