It's Lent, so, hey. If you're Jewish, there's also a bunch of fast days, so you're good, too.
How do you do an Al-Anon fast?
As an Al-Anon, I can have my finger in every pot. Planning, scheming, plotting. For the good of all!
Obviously, I do need to initiate conversations and interactions, and I do need to respond when others reach out (albeit appropriately). So what's the fast?
For one, seven, or even thirty or forty days, try (subject to the above exceptions):
- Not calling people
- Not extending invitations
- Not making arrangements
- Not starting conversations
- Not taking up opportunities to fix, change, and control
- Not giving people unsolicited advice, input, or encouragement
- Not suggesting, cajoling, setting out the pros and cons
- Not thinking about others
- Not helping people
- Not doing things for people they can do for themselves
- Not doing things for people's good
- Not saying one word more than is strictly necessary
- Not speaking when silence might still work
- Not acting when inaction might still work.
Instead, I let the world come to me, and respond as appropriate.
The above exception is important: there are legitimate duties to be fulfilled, and legitimate needs to be met; there are relationships (e.g. with employees, students, children, and sponsees) where some proactivity is sometimes required. Most of the time, however, I need not initiate anything: the obligations are simply there to be fulfilled, and the needs are met automatically.
Maybe try it for just one hour. Even that could be excruciating!
When I do this, the results are amazing. The inner world opens up. The outer world becomes more pacific. The tension goes.