One of the 'eight worldly concerns' in Buddhism is the aversion to blame, or the aversion to accepting responsibility for something.
There are many deflection techniques I have used to avoid accepting responsibility.
Here are some excuses I have used where I failed to something I should have done:
- I did not do it because [insert external factor]
- I did it but it went wrong because of [insert external factor]
- I could not do it because of [insert character defect]
- I intended to do it
- I thought I had done it
- I did not do it because I am unmanageable
- I did not do it because I was feeling [insert emotion]
- I was confused
- I did not understand the instructions
- I did not know how to do it
- I tried to get help but no one helped me
- I did not know I was supposed to do it
- I thought it was someone else's job
- I did not do it because I was scared of [insert fear]
Here are some excuses I have used where I did something I should not have done:
- I did it because [insert external factor]
- I did it right but it went wrong because of [insert external factor]
- I could not avoid doing it because of [insert character defect]
- I did not intend to do it
- I did not realise I had done it
- I did it because I am unmanageable
- I did it because I was feeling [insert emotion]
- I was confused
- I did not understand the instructions
- I did not know how to do it right
- X told me to do it that way
- I did not know I was not supposed to do it
- I did not realise it was someone else's job
- I did it because I was scared of [insert fear]
The external factors can include circumstances, other people, technology, the weather, etc.
The character defects can include any personal inadequacy or failing: in one sense, this is reasonable, because there will indeed be a character defect at the root of the problem. But I have a habit of presenting the inadequacy or failing as beyond my responsibility, attributing it to genetics, neurodivergence, my family of origin, my parents, my childhood, the past generally, sex, gender, sexuality, nationality, ethnicity, unresolved 'issues', trauma, temperament, personality, character, sensitivity, triggers, buttons, or anything that renders it inviolate and beyond the reach of me, the programme, and God. Factors outside my control may have made me a certain way, but I'm nonetheless responsible for my attitude and action, regardless of my 'make-up' or other predisposing factors.
The reasoning behind all this is that, if something is not my fault, you can't attack me for it, so I'm safe.
Of course, accepting responsibility is not accepting attack. No one is attacking me. They just want the job done.
The simplest way to accept responsibility is to say: 'I did Y' or 'I did not do X' (as appropriate). 'I will now do X, Y, or Z' (as appropriate). 'Thank you for pointing that out.'