In Al-Anon meetings, we say a lot about how gentle Al-Anon is. That's great, and true. However, sometimes the objective of gentleness is used as a way of avoiding uncomfortable truths or challenge and remaining sick. I'm notoriously dense, and gentleness does not get through to me. Straight-talking does.
Also, the truth does not distinguish between gentleness and roughness. It is what it is.
Alcoholism and anonism are not gentle. They're both killers.
It's important not to be cruel for its own sake. But it's equally important not to pull punches and risk missing the objective altogether.
To make an omelette, you have to break some eggs. But don't break eggs without making an omelette.