In Al-Anon, we use the term 'slip' in a slightly tongue-in-cheek way, because alanonism is not the same as alcoholism, and 'slip' is taken from AA: a return to alcoholic drinking, literally 'slipping from God's grace'.
I think there are two types of Al-Anon slip.
Firstly, there is the 'jag': a composite pattern of thinking and behaviour extending in a particular situation over days, weeks, months, or years.
My typical Al-Anon jag is devising schemes to improve the lives of others (or otherwise fix, change, or control them), without anyone having asked me to, with or without the belief I am guided by God, with or without the agreement or acquiescence of such persons, and sometimes in the face of requests to stop or tone it down.
Note: in AA, we are enjoined to think of others and help meet their needs. Where does this become an Al-Anon slip? Where doing so extends beyond my given roles, encounters resistance, infantilises others, prevents rock-bottoms, intervenes in settled states of affairs, removes others' self-determination or self-management, or otherwise intrudes into their lives in a disagreeable or counterproductive fashion. This list is obviously not exhaustive.
A good example is deciding that my home group should be different and deciding to make it different other than making a suggestion (once and once only) at a group conscience meeting.
Even making suggestions at a group conscience meeting can be an Al-Anon slip: Does it really need to be fixed, changed, or controlled (by me)? Or am I just trying to change the group so it suits my taste? Am I bombarding the group with ideas with the hope that at least one idea will squeeze through? Weak groups can easily be browbeaten by Al-Anons on jags, who, because their ideas get voted in, believe that they've submitted to the group conscience. If the group conscience includes an elephant (me), then it's possible to distort the process without realising it.
There are also momentary Al-Anon slips.
Examples:
- A negative thought
- An interjection or remark with a covert purpose
And the mother of all Al-Anon slips:
- Thinking or talking about the alcoholic or other troubled person when they're not in the room and to no stated God-given purpose