... but you can't tell him much, so they say.
Some people declare, 'I'm so glad that, when I came to AA, no one told me what to do. I wouldn't have done it.'
Quite right. We suggest. We don't order. But this is a workaround to overcome the prideful resistance of an unrecovered alcoholic. There are further merits to this approach, which therefore applies over time.
However, being prideful, resistant, stubborn, and contrary is not a badge of honour, a virtue, or an ineradicable 'alcoholic' vice to be borne aloft like a victory lap trophy as one racks up months, years, or decades of recovery. It's a character defect, and it's one that I was well advised to get over as promptly as possible, because it was not doing me any favours.
Early in AA, I learned it was in my best interests to follow good orderly direction, and to do so gladly and cheerfully.