Resentment, anxiety, and shame are so pervasive amongst AA members, and such a focus of AA discussion, it can be easy to normalise them as inevitable and even perfectly noble mental activities: sometimes people say, 'We're only human', as if to say we must put up with them in perpetuity. They can be worn as badges of honour, like Members' Club jackets: 'Member since 1974'. They become so part of the narrative that they merge into one's identity, which explains some reluctance about letting them go.
Now, we certainly do have to put up with particular forms of anger, fear, and guilt, namely the momentary responses to incoming phenomena. If someone goes to punch you, you rightfully duck. But, like words written on water, the words can be erased quickly in a person who allows the emotion to flow through and, as it is flowing through, extracts useful information about present circumstances to formulate a response.
But in the unhealthy person (i.e. me on a bad day), the emotion gets stuck and defended, so anger, fear, and guilt solidify into the kidney stones of resentment, anxiety, and shame, with all of their attendant mental activities.
What characterises the mental activity of resentment?
For example, touchiness, self-righteousness, viciousness ...
What characterises the mental activity of anxiety?
For example, cowardice, materialism, mistrust ...
What characterises the mental activity of shame?
For example, haughtiness, censoriousness, cruelty ...
Look behind the feeling to the mental attitude.
Here's something I'm trying to practise:
When I find myself resentful, saying, rather than, 'I'm angry at X because of Y and this affects my Z' (which is the necessary and rightful procedure in Step Four or other learning settings):
'I'm being touchy, self-righteous, and vicious.'
The curious effect of this is that I look behind the emotion to the character defect.
And who wants to be thought of as touchy, self-righteous, and vicious? I don't. These are clearly undesirable errors of stance, and errors immediately call for correction. The adjustment is prompt. In that moment, I can drop the undesirable attitude like it's hot.