There is no such thing as a relationship. People often think they have relationship problems, but the real problem is the belief that there is a relationship. If you make a fruit salad with an apple and an orange and you slice them up and it tastes rotten, there is nothing wrong with the salad, because there is no salad. There is something wrong with either the apple or the orange or both. If you want the salad to taste nicer, you do not deal with this imaginary thing called the salad; you deal with the apple or you deal with the orange. Someone says that, in dysfunctional relationships, there are four entities in the room: me, you, my notion of the relationship, and your notion of the relationship. My notion of the relationship hovers above me like an avatar, and your notion of the relationship hovers above you like an avatar, and we are both relating not just to each other but to our relationship avatars. This explains some of the perceived complexity. The funky thing about these avatars is that they are bioluminescent, which means that they glow in the dark. But that aside, I discovered that when I change my beliefs, my thoughts, and my behaviour, my relationships change automatically. I have never in my life needed to work on a relationship, or successfully worked on a relationship; obviously, there are matters of etiquette, protocol, and coordination, and there are practical arrangements that need to be made, but these are not relationship questions; they’re strategy, policy, and logistics questions, similar to those one encounters at work or in any organisation or endeavour. The psychic difficulty I have with a relationship is really a difficulty within my own consciousness, and that is where the problem needs to be treated. So my advice to me is not to work on my relationships but to work on myself. Do that and everything else falls into place.