Some etiquette I learned early in AA:
- When I want someone's input or help, it's on their terms. If they ask me to call at a particular time, write something down, prepare, be at a particular meeting, etc., if I want their help, that's what I do. I don't negotiate or try to get around it.
- If I contact someone in AA and they don't respond, I might try once again, but then I let it go. I don't barrage or hail on all frequencies. To continue to try to elicit a response is harassment or stalking.
It was a tough lesson to learn, but people in AA were not and are not service-providers. They're not servants or public sector workers. They are under no personal obligation to me. They're people too, they have lives, and they are generous with their time, but they're allowed to set terms and define when, where, how, and to whom they offer their help.
I'm not entitled to any particular person's time or attention.
If I keep my nose clean, however, I will always find that suitable help is available, as soon as I'm honest, open-minded, and willing enough to ask for it and then receive it as it is given.