In response to a request:
I’ve had many physical problems since I’ve been sober. Sometimes for a long time, and sometimes seriously.
How do I apply the programme to physical problems and other adversity?
- Acceptance. Fighting it does not help and makes it worse.
- Adjustment. Studies show that adjustment is both possible and remarkably rapid to changes in physical capacity. In one study on people who became incapacitated due to accident, happiness levels returned to the level of the general population within one month.
- Alcoholism. I should be dead, frankly. Any other time and most other places: I would be. Any time I have is a gift and a bonus.
- AA = Attitude Adjustment. I can’t change the situation but I can change my attitude to it.
- Capitalisation. Page 133. Treat the situation as an opportunity for God to show His omnipotence through me.
- Choice. I don’t choose absolutely everything in my life, but I always choose my attitude towards it.
- Frailty. The body is frail. We’re on a fragile planet. The chances of a planet supporting life are vanishing rare. These are facts. Recognise this and be grateful for the miracle of life.
- Gratitude. Constant. Deliberate. And voiced.
- Humility. The temptation to think terrible thoughts can be great. But humility adopts this approach: I think my life is over. But I’m wrong. I think this is unfair. But I’m wrong. I think the future will be grim. But I’m wrong. The ability to be wrong is a great asset.
- Lemonade. Sometimes my life has been restricted. So I have lain on my back, listening to spiritual tapes. I have prayed all night when I couldn’t sleep for physical reasons. That’s why you want to memorise prayers. You can always do something. Whatever I achieve is good enough. If all I do is say the Step Three prayer for a day, I am a success.
- Listening. Listen to the body. It doesn’t lie. If it wants to rest, rest it.
- Luck. We’re lucky to be living here and now. Relatively recently in human history, there were no painkillers, no anaesthetics, and no disinfectants. Ponder that.
- Mind training. The mind must be trained not to let in every thought that knocks.
- Mortality. I’m going to die. I need to get used to that. The job is to live well before I die, not to avoid death per se.
- Oldtimers. Watch oldtimers, and watch how they age and die with grace and cheer. Ask them how they do it.
- Perspective. My negative thoughts about the pain, the suffering, the distress, the situation are not coming from the pain, the suffering, the distress, the situation. Did I suffer from negative thoughts before they arose? Yes. They’re not coming from those circumstances: I’m producing them about those circumstances. It’s the negative thought factory that is the problem, and that’s what needs to be shut down.
- Responsibility. I’m not responsible for the pain but I’m responsible for walking through it with my head held high and without complaint.
- Self-pity. Avoid it. Whatever it is is not fair, but it’s not unfair either. It’s part of the deal. This time it’s my turn. It could be better but it could be worse. It could always be worse. But don’t dwell too long on that either.
- Smarts. Don’t consult Doctor Google. Go to an actual qualified doctor and get a specialist referral. Avoid quacks, charlatans, and snake-oil salesmen. Sure, there are different approaches, but go for one with evidence of safety and efficacy. Don’t underestimate the placebo effect and the therapeutic benefit of careful attention.
- Step Three. I’ve taken Step Three, so it’s God’s body, not mine; it’s God’s life not mine. Let Him weep for it. I’m just the caretaker, acting under instructions.
- Strategy. Plan for all worse- and worst-case scenarios, then work backwards. Be grateful for anything above the baseline.
- Study. Stoic philosophers. Cato. Epictetus. Seneca. Marcus Aurelius. Tibetan Buddhists. Taoists.
- Suffering. Pain is pain. Mental suffering comes from the construct I build on top of it. I’ve learned to deconstruct the narrative and be present instead. I’ve learned that pain and possibly impending death are tolerable. My narratives about them: less so.
- Words. I’m careful of how I speak about physical and in fact any problems. If I speak negatively, I will reinforce negative mental patterns. I once vented, and Jonathan rightly cautioned: That needs to stop; permit it, and it will take over.
- Worth. A life that is worth living is one where I give of myself for others. Comfort’s nice but it’s not the point. Great people are people who give and love and create. Not people who avoid pain.