When I say, 'I'm doing my best!' and 'I'm trying my hardest!', that sounds great!
Here's the curious thing, however: someone who is just doing the programme is simply doing it. I just walked to work. I didn't really think about it. I just did it. I didn't 'do my best' to walk to work or 'try my hardest' to walk to work. I just did it, and it was done properly: I arrived at the destination. Same with any of the other things I do in the programme.
The above statements really mean: 'I'm experiencing resistance and fighting against the resistance. Although I'm managing to do some things, the resistance is still strong, which is why this feels like an effort. I know the resistance is basically winning, and I'm at the limit of my capabilities.'
If the half measures, or sabotaged measures, are my best, there is no hope. I had better hope that this is not my best! Hope lies not in trying harder but in uncovering and severing the secret alliance with my enemy, the ego.
The above statements, therefore, whether in the mind or in conversation, always mean there's a Step Zero problem: the 'problem' bit of the mind (the ego) is still holding court, and my allegiance is split between it and the 'real me', hence the conflict.
The ego looks and sounds like me. Until I unmask it and discover it is darkness dressed as me, its haughtiness, rebellion, and sneering continued to throws spanners in the works.