Surrender vs compliance: a test

When I'm complying, I don't wholeheartedly believe the actions suggested are right and good and beneficial to me. Rather, for whatever reason, I'm going through the motions.

Surrender entails fully giving myself to the actions either because I can see the sense in them or because I trust the person and so, even if I cannot see the sense in them, I treat them as if they have sense.

A good test of whether I'm surrendered or compliant is this: when the pressure is off, do I keep taking the actions? In other words, when the person who suggested them is no longer watching, because we've drifted, gone our separate ways, are no longer in touch, not going to the same meetings, or not in a sponsorship relationship any more, do I still take the actions? If I stop, I was only ever complying. The ego me resurfaces as soon as the monitoring ceases, and says, 'I'll take over from here.'

Like an elastic band that snaps back when the tension is released, I revert to my original state.

Jim W in San Antonio suggested around a year ago, maybe a little more, that I go to Group Twelve in San Antonio. Since his email to me, I have had no contact with him, but I'm still going. If he thought it was a good idea, it's a good idea. Sometimes I think it's a good idea. Sometimes I'm not so sure, but I still go, twice a week. I think, in this regard, I'm probably surrendered.