At the end of my drinking, everyone let go of me. If I failed, I would suffer the consequences. There was no cavalry coming. There was no one to bail me out. I realised my life was on the line. I suddenly found myself able to stay sober in AA by keeping my mouth largely shut and following orders, however painful and disagreeable this was. Because I had no alternative.
Stop cushioning other people's falls, or you'll kill 'em.