Me: I've blown it. I can't go on, with the alcoholism, the addictions, the obsessions of the mind. I'm literally going to be dead in moments.
Universe: Yes.
Me: But I'd like to have another go.
Universe: Another go?
Me: Yes, I'd like to have another go on the planet.
Universe: This planet?
Me: Are there other options?
Universe: Actually, no. Actually, yes, but this is the one you're on the list for, so no, there are no other options.
Me: So I can have another go?!
Universe: Yes!
Me: Great. Thanks. Bye ....
Universe: Hold up, hold up, Tiger. There's a catch.
Me: A catch?
Universe: You can have another go only if it's not on your account. If you make your life entirely about staying awake to a higher reality and being available to the Higher Power to work through you to transform the lives of people around you and more broadly on the planet.
Me: So I can't have a house, a career, a family?
Universe: No. Well, yes, actually, or possibly, but they won't be yours. They'll be God's. You'll be granted use rights to them on a daily basis provided you keep your nose clean.
Me: So I can have a house, a career, a family?!
Universe: You're not getting it. You'll inhabit those, but you mustn't touch the sides. They're sticky, and, if you touch them, they'll stick to you. You'll have to be super careful not to get stuck, and, if you get stuck, to unstick yourself pronto. Or else ...
Me: Or else what?
Universe: Or else the alcoholism, the addictions, the obsessions of the mind will come back.
Me: And what then?
Universe: Oh, you'll have to go through the usual cycle: a downward spiral of unpredictable velocity and then bumping along the bottom for an unforeseeable period until you finally break. Then you'll end up back here.
Me: So then I'll be given another chance?
Universe: Maybe, maybe not. Depends whether you're on the list then. You can't know, I can't know, whether you'll be on the list then. The list hasn't been written yet.
Me: This is potentially my only shot then?
Universe: Yup.
Me: Where do I sign?