I can sometimes attempt to judge my willingness based on the intentions of my higher self. In reality, however, willingness is tested by the actions I take. Having a willingness problem is fine—we all have one, as willingness lies along a spectrum—but unless the willingness problem is solved, the (in)action problem won't be solved either.
Here are some tell-tale signs of a concealed willingness problem:
- Thinking I'm too busy for something
- Blaming circumstances or other people for why I haven't done something
- Specifically, blaming:
- Lack of sleep or problems with sleep
- My phone running out of juice
- Lack of signal
- Lack of Wi-Fi
- Alarms not going off / sleeping through alarms
- Forgetfulness / the action 'slipping my mind'
- 'Dropping the ball'
- Emotions (fear, pride, etc.)
- Public transport, machinery, or other equipment or devices
- Someone else's intervention
- Tasks taking longer than anticipated (who did the anticipating?)
- 'Time running away with me'
- Lack of discipline (did I ever fail to drink or use because I was undisciplined?)
- Habit
- Genetics
- When challenged, feeling attacked, and ...
- defending myself
- justifying myself
- explaining why I did not do something
- arguing
- citing things 'beyond my control' as reasons
- denying
- lying to myself
- lying to others
- affirming my good intentions
- changing the subject
- shifting the focus
- refusing to talk
- turning the tables
- pleading ignorance ('I didn't know ...' / 'I didn't realise ...')
- Coming up with a second (third, fourth, fifth) line of defence when the first line is successfully challenged
- Doing the minimum to get by rather than doing the job properly
- Superficially taking the action but without substance (being present without being present)
- Taking action only when someone is watching or checking up
- Taking action only when there is an accountability system in place
- Taking action only when I am in distress
These are uncomfortable questions for me!