Feeling let down by your sponsor? Here are some questions to ask.
- What input do I want from my sponsor? (Be very specific: for instance, 'support' is very vague and could cover anything from sympathy, to company, to constructive solutions. Examples: practical tips on how to work the programme; a sounding board to run through alternative courses of action I am considering in specific situations; advice on how to handle a tricky sponsee.)
- Are the things I am seeking from my sponsor legitimate things to seek? (Maybe ask a sound friend if you're unsure.)
- Are some of the things I am seeking more suited to a partner, a parent, or a friend, or another type of relationship?
- Am I actively seeking that legitimate input (i.e. I am calling and explicitly and unambiguously asking for what I seek? Or am I expecting the sponsor to anticipate, to call me, to discern what I'm after without me saying, or to actively invite me to ask certain questions?)
- Is my sponsor providing the input I am asking for? (NB even if the input does not come in the form that I want or expect, that does not necessarily mean that they are not providing input or that the input is not a precise and tailored answer to the question I am asking.)
- Am I implementing the attitudes and actions offered by my sponsor?
- Am I doing so consistently, diligently, and with an open mind?
- Or do I resist, argue, then ignore them?
- When I implement them consistently, diligently, and with an open mind, do they work?
- If I have bad feelings when I think about or talk to my sponsor, what beliefs and thoughts are generating those ideas?
- Let's critically analyse those beliefs and thoughts. Are they rational? Are they proportionate? Are they realistic? Are they mature?
This can help identify where the problem, if any, lies.