To stay sober and to get well I needed to be able to do one thing: what I was told by someone I trusted.
With that, anything is possible. Without that nothing is possible.
Whilst I was still deciding, I was doomed to drink.
Whilst I was still deciding, I was still protecting all other defects at risk of elimination.
Sobriety and progress require change. Change requires action counter to what I believe, think, or want.