The right mind is at peace. When I'm emotionally disturbed, to that precise extent is my perception of reality distorted.
Three tests for disturbance:
To what extent am I engaging in the following?
- Fret–brood–worry
- Plan–scheme–plot
- Fix–change–control
- Whine–gripe–moan
Here's one way back—I proceed systematically through the following statements:
- I do not like what I feel now
- I hope I have been wrong
- I want another way to look at this
- Perhaps there is another way to look at this
- What can I lose by asking?
What does asking mean?
It means going back and reviewing the 'facts' of the situation, guided by my Higher Power, not by the unholy trinity of shame, guilt, fear, and their corollaries of judgement, blame, and attack.
Regularly, I find I am not looking at the facts but at fragmentary information and sometimes misinformation, distorted by personalisation, speculation, interpretation, extrapolation, and generalisation.
Deciding differently requires unpicking the misinformation, replacing it with accurate information, stripping away the above distortions, and recasting the situation in a new, sober narrative.
How do I do this? I pick smart, balanced, non-hysterical, deeply rational, well-informed, and experienced, competent people who are not emotionally involved in my situation.