How can you tell someone has surrendered?

Anyone can squeeze a piece of marshmallow into a particular shape. Let go, and it bounces back. If someone is 'taking all the right actions' but immediately stops, for instance if the sponsor's pressure is relieved, there was no surrender.

Surrender means taking on board suggestions from someone you trust, making them your own, and living by them accordingly.

28 years after Maureen first told me to never go to fewer than two meetings a week, I still stand by that. I took on board that suggestion, made it my own, and lived by it. Maureen has not needed to stand over me making sure I do it. And she's never called me to rescind the suggestion.

A surrendered person is like putty: when you shape putty, it stays in the shape into which it was moulded.