After Step Nine, one of four courses is usually followed, sometimes a mixture of these:
1. Going back into self-centred drama.
2. Looking to the material life to provide spiritual relief.
3. Limbo: not going back but not going forward.
4. Living 100% in Steps Ten, Eleven, and Twelve.
4. is hard. It's where I have a material life but as the embodiment of my Steps Ten, Eleven, and Twelve. It's also the most painful, as it involves believing, thinking, and doing the opposite of what I have previously believed, thought, and done.