I've spent a lot of my life feeling attacked by others and the world.
Here is what was going on.
I felt guilt and shame about not living the life my Higher Power wanted me to live.
I felt 'sinful' because of this.
I repressed that.
But I could not get rid of it, because it was still there, just out of sight.
So, I sensed it, but then located the sin in others rather than me.
This is where resentment comes from.
I then built narratives to support why they were wrong and I was right.
My sense of suffering therefore came from them not me.
Whilst I saw the problem outside of myself, I could not do anything about it.
I had to unwind the whole narrative.
I recognised that the 'sin' I was seeing distortedly in others was actually within me.
There were three things I was doing wrong:
- Attacking (myself and others)
- Harming (myself and others)
- Engaging in pointless activities
The solutions:
- Forgiveness
- Amends
- Purposeful activities
The sin was not sin but actually error.
When this was fixed, the sense of 'sin' went, and there was nothing to project.
Other people, it turns out, are innocent, and at worst mistaken.