In my life, my troubles are of my own making. Firstly, I'm the co-author of the situation; secondly, I'm the author of my response. (Note that responsibility for the response is gradually acquired with the shift to adulthood: as a child, I could not but believe, think, and act as I was shown and had no mechanism for self-awareness and change.)
Here is a good illustration of how the turnaround takes place from victimhood to responsibility:
In a novel by Jean-Michel Guenassia, a teenage boy, maybe seventeen, is complaining that his best friend has cleared off, to another part of France, without saying anything.
He tells a much older confidant, a Russian emigré living in Paris. This is the ensuing conversation:
Here is a good illustration of how the turnaround takes place from victimhood to responsibility:
In a novel by Jean-Michel Guenassia, a teenage boy, maybe seventeen, is complaining that his best friend has cleared off, to another part of France, without saying anything.
He tells a much older confidant, a Russian emigré living in Paris. This is the ensuing conversation:
'It's not Nicolas's fault,' he finally replied, without looking away from his worktop, 'You're the one who is responsible.'
'How could you say something like that? I did nothing wrong!'
'You say that Nicolas has acted cruelly.''
'Yes.'
'If he had considered you to be his friend, he would not have acted like that. He was not your friend, therefore. The fault lies with you for carelessly assuming someone to be your friend. You have to know how to distinguish real friends from false ones. With friends, people often succumb to wishful thinking. You have been a little slipshod in your choice.'