Here's how I have used the programme long-term to treat the problems in my life.
Question: Have I completed all of the first nine Steps (including solid Steps Four to Eight plus completing all possible amends and being up to date with drip-feed amends, like repaying debts)?
No:
Question: Have I completed all of the first nine Steps (including solid Steps Four to Eight plus completing all possible amends and being up to date with drip-feed amends, like repaying debts)?
No:
Until this process was completed, I was not even at the starting blocks of life. I had to complete the first nine Steps, which included reviewing the actions of the first nine Steps and being confident there was no more I could do: I was done! When I completed this process, many problems fell away, and all others entered into a process of resolution.
Yes:
Yes:
Question: Was that a while ago?
No:
I look at the daily practices of Steps Ten through Twelve: the first nine Steps prepare for service; the spiritual life consists of service, and the last three Steps are the daily operating manual. Sometimes, I've cleared a space and I have unpacked and assembled my service life but I have not plugged it in and switched it on. Activating the last three Steps has often been the answer.
Yes:
No:
I look at the daily practices of Steps Ten through Twelve: the first nine Steps prepare for service; the spiritual life consists of service, and the last three Steps are the daily operating manual. Sometimes, I've cleared a space and I have unpacked and assembled my service life but I have not plugged it in and switched it on. Activating the last three Steps has often been the answer.
Yes:
Question: Are we talking a year or so or many years since the Steps were completed (or since the last systematic review)?
A year or so:
I consider if there are any gaps in the first three Steps and plug them. (I spend an hour or so on this.)
I retake Step Three (as per page 63 of the Big Book).
I spend a couple of hours surveying my life, area by area:
I make amends where necessary.
I implement the above changes.
I upgrade my Steps Ten through Twelve.
A year or so:
I consider if there are any gaps in the first three Steps and plug them. (I spend an hour or so on this.)
I retake Step Three (as per page 63 of the Big Book).
I spend a couple of hours surveying my life, area by area:
- Who do I resent? Drop the demands, drop the judgement, and forgive them.
- What am I scared of? Turn these areas over to God and ask for direction.
- Where am I wrong? Answer the page 67 questions.
- What should I do instead? Construct simple sane and sound ideals for beliefs, thinking, and behaviour for each area of my life.
I make amends where necessary.
I implement the above changes.
I upgrade my Steps Ten through Twelve.
This procedure might be suitable if:
Depending on how off-beam I am, the above procedure under 'Months' may work.
When I have been seriously off-beam, I have needed to redo the Steps from scratch, systematically.
This procedure was suitable where:
There were major structural problems in my life (dysfunctional relationships, crazy job, home life in chaos):
- The basic structure of my life is (largely) sound but some adjustment is necessary
- My behaviour is (mostly) appropriate but with room for improvement
- I have a service life (sponsoring plus other practical service)
- There are a few areas of resentment, fear, guilt, and shame that I can't shift
Depending on how off-beam I am, the above procedure under 'Months' may work.
When I have been seriously off-beam, I have needed to redo the Steps from scratch, systematically.
This procedure was suitable where:
There were major structural problems in my life (dysfunctional relationships, crazy job, home life in chaos):
- I was regularly overwhelmed by resentment, fear, guilt, and shame
- People were signalling that my behaviour was out of order
- I was keeping secrets
- I was harming others
- I was acting out (sex, romance, food, control, rage)
- I was suffering from persistent depression or anxiety
- I was in despair