External events do not cause low self-worth in me. All they do is occasion my awareness of it. There's a difference.
Any self-worth problem pre-exists the situation in which it is triggered. If I'm bothered by whether people find me enticing on dating apps, it means I've gone into the situation indexing my value against the parameter of sexual attractiveness. I'm booby-trapped for misery.
Any sense of self-worth which relates to the body, looks, career, achievement, success, acclaim, status, zip code, wealth, popularity, personality, charm, identity, beliefs, ideology, nationality, gender, sexuality, length of sobriety, or anything of the world is fragile, volatile, and doomed. They're the clothing not the substance. They're literally not who I am. Take any away and I'm still me. Spirit is undiminished and undiminishable.
What is more, any sense of self deriving from those parameters needs constant topping up. 'A slotted spoon doesn't hold much soup.' I can't blame the soup.
Lastly, such values tend to require mirroring and validation. You're only as good as the latest hit. Lab rat hitting a pedal to get microdosed cocaine in drinking water. Ugh.
Ultimately I realised that I'm of infintive worth because I exist, like daffodils, kittens, or mountains.
Nothing I can do can gnaw away at that.
Nothing can top it.
I need do nothing to achieve that.
For that to become true, I had to apply that to everyone else, too. Each individual is of infinite worth just because they exist. Anyone. Even ... whoever. Let's not name names.
My self-esteem problem started and ended with my values. All the world did was play ball. When my values changed, the self-worth problem disappeared.
What is more, any sense of self deriving from those parameters needs constant topping up. 'A slotted spoon doesn't hold much soup.' I can't blame the soup.
Lastly, such values tend to require mirroring and validation. You're only as good as the latest hit. Lab rat hitting a pedal to get microdosed cocaine in drinking water. Ugh.
Ultimately I realised that I'm of infintive worth because I exist, like daffodils, kittens, or mountains.
Nothing I can do can gnaw away at that.
Nothing can top it.
I need do nothing to achieve that.
For that to become true, I had to apply that to everyone else, too. Each individual is of infinite worth just because they exist. Anyone. Even ... whoever. Let's not name names.
My self-esteem problem started and ended with my values. All the world did was play ball. When my values changed, the self-worth problem disappeared.