In implementing Step Ten (page 84: continue to watch ...), today, I found myself reacting with white hot rage to an argument I foolishly read through on Twitter. I have a keen eye for self-righteousness in others, which means, yes, you guessed it, it's a character trait of mine. What does self-righteousness mean? To me, it means the pursuit of virtuous ends by egotistical means. It is a particularly pernicious characteristic, first of all because it is cloaked in virtue, under which its dark side is shielded, and secondly because its repugnance is counterproductive in promoting the virtuous ends sought. I catch myself hammering on a particular virtue whilst throwing all others to the wind. When I see this in society, in all parts of the political spectrum, this is but a reflection of my own nature, from which I get a daily reprieve through the programme, if I'm humble enough to wave the white flag.
Today, I went through the St Augustine Prayer Book list of character defects, to identify some behaviour patterns that bother me in societal debate and interaction and which, inevitably, are to be found also in me. There are many different ways I am capable of manifesting an underlying self-righteous attitude; so many, in fact, that it makes a mockery of whatever virtue I'm espousing. As in me, so in society.
Here is the extract:
Preference for our own ideas, customs, schemes or techniques. ...
Over-sensitiveness. Expectation that others will dislike, reject or mistreat us; over-readiness so to interpret their attitude, or quickness to take offence. ...
Self-righteous comparison of ourselves with others. ...
Harsh judgements on others for faults we excuse in ourselves. ...
Arrogance. Insisting that others conform to our wishes, recognise our leadership, accept our own estimate of our worth. Being overbearing, argumentative, opinionated, obstinate. ...
Anger is open rebellion against God or our fellow creatures. Its purpose and desire is to eliminate any obstacle to our self-seeking, to retaliate against any threat to our security, to avenge any insult or injury to our person. ...
Unjustified rebellion or complaint at the circumstances of our lives. Escape from reality or the attempt to force our will upon it. ... Cynicism. Annoyance at the contrariness of things; profanity or grumbling. ...
Pugnacity. Attack upon another in anger. ... Combativeness or nursing of grudges. Injury to another by ... insulting him; or by damaging his reputation .... Quarrelsomeness, bickering, contradiction, nagging, rudeness, or snubbing.
Retaliation. Vengeance for wrongs real or imagined, or the plotting thereof. Harsh or excessive punishment. Hostility, sullenness or rash judgement. Refusal to forgive, or to offer or accept reconciliation. Unwillingness to love, to do good to, or to pray for enemies. Boycotting or ostracising another for selfish reasons.
Belittling others.
... Ill-will, false accusations, slander, backbiting. Reading false motives into others’ behaviour. Initiation, collection or retailing of gossip. Arousing, fostering or organising antagonism against others. Unnecessary criticism, even when true. Deliberate annoyance of others, teasing or bullying.
Contempt. Scorn of another’s ... shortcomings, or failings. Prejudice against those we consider inferior, or who consider us inferior, or who seem to threaten our security or position. Ridicule of persons, institutions, or ideals.
Imposing our will on others by force, guile, whining, or refusal to cooperate. Over-readiness to advise or command; abuse of authority.
Cruelty. Deliberate infliction of pain, mental or physical.
So, what do I do with this?
I have no basis for judging others. The best I can do is understand them, and the best way to do that is to see them reflected in me. So, by way of daily reprieve, I can withdraw judgement from what I see without and within.
The ego's world is wholly insane. God's world is wholly sane. There's no line of communication between the two. Recognising the enormity of a world view and modus operandi that arise out of ego, I realise I am powerless over them in others and powerless over them in myself. I am not helpless in relation to them in myself, however: I can turn away and ask God to be shown peace. It is only through example I've been shown differently, and it is only by example that I can show differently.
How I can operate in the world:
(1) Be aware of the above defects and practise Step Ten to identify and turn away from them on a moment-by-moment basis.
(2) Be kind towards the world.
Anthony de Mello:
A village girl became an unwed mother and, after several beatings, revealed who the father was: the Zen master living on the outskirts of the village.
The villagers trooped into the Master's house, rudely disturbed his meditation, denounced him as a hypocrite, and told him to keep the baby. All the Master said was, "Very well. Very well."
He picked up the baby and made arrangements with the woman next door to look after it at his expense.
His name, of course, was ruined, and his disciples all abandoned him.
When this had gone on for a year, the girl could bear it no longer and confessed that she had lied. The father was the boy next door.
The villagers bowed profoundly to the Master to beg his pardon and ask to take the baby back. And all the Master said as he handed back the child was, "Very well. Very well."