Do we judge?

In the sense of 'condemn' or 'show contempt for', hopefully not.

But in the sense of 'draw a conclusion about' or 'have an opinion on', we absolutely do and should.

When I tell my own story, I'm really telling you all my judgements about what happened. There is no such thing as a neutral account. Even an apparently neutral portrayal of a string of facts entails judging which facts are relevant and which are not, and the message being sent is clear. My story about myself is interpretation. Perception is interpretation.

Secondly, discernment is a virtue. Tainted with moralisation, it's a sin. In its pared-down, detached form, it's vital. Discernment (non-toxic judgement) is a faculty without which it would be impossible to decide on what to have for dinner, let alone anything important.

There is also tremendous judgement brought into the programme. In Steps Four and Eight, we judge what beliefs, thinking, and behaviour did not work or harmed others. We form opinions and draw conclusions.

We certainly do not say: I was cruel to so-and-so. But that is not good or bad, right or wrong, acceptable or unacceptable. We rightly judge.

Panning out, we make moral and pragmatic judgements the whole time in AA: the AA programme is based on the judgement that helping others is fundamentally preferable to looking after number one, and we make a pragmatic judgement every time we say 'well done' to someone for hitting an AA milestone. These are opinions and conclusions, not facts. We're judging these things as good, and the phrase 'well done' suggests we believe the person has indeed done well in contributing to the attainment of that milestone. Conclusion. Opinion. Judgement.

What are the limits on judgement?

As indicated above, it's maybe helpful to avoid sour moralisation, condemnation, contempt, etc. It's helpful to avoid 'unnecessary criticism [of others], even when true'. It's helpful to avoid opinions or conclusions that serve no purpose or are ill-founded. It's helpful to be honest with oneself about the limitations or qualifications to a particular opinion or conclusion expressed. It's well to recognise one is often wrong and that the 'truth' is notoriously elusive and volatile. But the faculty of discernment remains the great gift, provided, as suggested in Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, that humility comes first.