Short form: Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
Long form: And finally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has an immense spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.
Application in AA
- Tradition XII stands apart from the other Traditions, which cover:
- Group running
- Public relations
- Instead, it sets out overriding principles
- The key ideas:
- Anonymity
- Principles before personalities
- Humility
- What is personality?
- Per Oxford:
- 'The combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character'
- It is therefore what separates us from each other
- Think of the Chuck Chamberlain image of the circle of Life = Good = God, being the universe and everything in it, including humanity, separated from Chuck, who is on the outside, by ego: 'the feeling of conscious separation from' (image at the bottom)
- However, personalities exist, so God must will them to exist
- One view:
- Personalities are used as a channel for people to reach each other
- God appears sometimes to reach people who are in a separated state directly
- God appears more often to reach people who are in a separated state indirectly
- He requires someone who:
- Is in contact with Him
- But still has the 'outer appearance' of a separated personality
- Someone who is still separated connects through identification with the personality
- Connection with personality is the gateway to connection through spirit
- Once spirit connects, personality (the scaffolding) can fall away
- But personalities are not an end in themselves
- Where the personality becomes detached from the Divine Order, it becomes a problem
- The personality sets itself up as its own creator
- And tries, in turn, to create a world designed to worship it
- Personality can also be equated with ego
- What is ego? False mind-made images of self.
- What is self-will run riot?
- Living life based on plans and designs to achieve material outcomes that deliver:
- The avoidance of physical / emotional pain
- The experience of physical / emotional pleasure
- The creation and maintenance of a supreme image of self
- Who are we really?
- One view:
- We are spirit housed in a human body
- We're here to play a role
- We won't be happy and satisfied until we're completely playing that role
- 'His craving for alcohol was the equivalent, on a low level, of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in medieval language: the union with God.' (Letter from Carl Jung to Bill Wilson, 30 January 1961)
- The major thing that can go wrong is forgetting this and living for self instead
- 'Death is a fairly major change of address' (Anne Lamott)
- 'Souls are all one: only the bodies divide us' (Tanya, Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi)
- 'Amélie a soudain le sentiment étrange d’être en harmonie totale avec elle-même, tout est parfait en cet instant, la douceur dans la lumière, ce petit parfum dans l’air, la rumeur tranquille de la ville ... Elle inspire profondément et la vie lui paraît alors si simple si limpide qu’un élan d’amour comme un désir d’aider l’humanité entière la submerge tout à coup.' / Translation: 'Amélie suddenly has the strange feeling of being in total harmony with herself: everything is perfect in this instant, the softness in the light, this slight fragrance in the air, the gentle hum of the city ... She inhales deeply and life then strikes her as being so simple and so clear, that a wave of love and desire to help the whole of humanity suddenly submerges her.' (Amélie)
- What is principle?
- The principles contained in:
- The Twelve Steps
- The Twelve Traditions
- The Twelve Concepts
- What is humility?
- 'The recognition of the allness of God and the nothingness of self.'
- 'Pride is putting self in the place of God as the centre and objective of our life, or of some department thereof. It is the refusal to recognise our status as creatures, dependent on God for our existence, and placed by Him in a specific relationship to the rest of His creation.'
- Humility is the reverse of this:
- 'Humility is putting God in the place of self as the centre and objective of our life, or of some department thereof. It is the recognition of our status as creatures, dependent on God for our existence, and placed by him in a specific relationship to the rest of his creation.'
- What does being spoiled by blessings mean?
- Taking the credit for them rather than giving the credit to God
- Getting distracted by the blessings and losing track of our purpose
- 'Letting the gifts separate us from the Giver'
- To sum up:
- Recognise that all good comes from God
- Recognise that everything is good or works to the good
- We are the danced not the dancer or the dance
- God works through us
- Anything we achieve is God's achievement, not ours
Application in life
- In sponsorship:
- If someone else is helped, that's God's doing
- We make ourselves available
- Either people make use of it or they don't
- We must remain detached
- If I cannot remain detached, exit the relationship
- If the sponsee has an excessive positive or negative attachment, exit the relationship
- Do not personalise gratitude others show towards you
- Accept thanks with grace but immediately pass it up the line to God
- Do not personalise one's own gratitude towards a particular person: redirect it towards God
- In group consciences and when listening to others share
- Listen to the content not the form
- What is the principle or idea being expressed?
- Does that principle serve God's purpose?
- Examine the merit of the idea not the person presenting it
- Do not be distracted by charisma
- Do not be distracted by lack of it
- In relationships
- Give up personal ambition
- Instead, serve
- Forgiveness is a form of service
- Definition: the withdrawal of judgement coupled with the extension of love
- If possible, serve anonymously
- This means without the other person knowing
- If they other person knows, this means without drawing attention to it
- If possible, serve silently
- Use words only if all else fails
- WAIT—Why Am I Talking?
- WAIST—Why Am I Still Talking?
- In the relationship with God
- Seek God's will alone
- See the atonement (at-one-ment) with God as the reward itself
- Drop demands and expectations
- Principles not personalities: excessive attachment:
- It's very common for sponsees to 'turn against' their sponsors
- ... equivalent of the teenage years
- This is most common where there has been an unboundaried relationship
- Too parental
- Too like friendship
- Expectations of special treatment or a special position
- Bitterness / jealousy when that special treatment does not materialise / continue
- This happens particularly as you encourage them to stand on their own two feet
- Essentially: acting out parental / authority-figure issues
- The flavour of sponsorship is different when we're intermediaries
- 'The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God. He clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Nonsense. Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job—wife or no wife—we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God.' (Page 98, Alcoholics Anonymous)
- The danger is creating dependence on us
- And failing to foster dependence on God
- Bitterness always arises because we ultimately always disappoint
- We cannot fix anyone
- We cannot be a substitute for God
- Never mistake gratitude for the benefits of the programme for personal gratitude
The Chuck C image