Tradition IV

Short form: Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or AA as a whole.

Long form: With respect to its own affairs, each AA group should be responsible to no other authority than its own conscience. But when its plans concern the welfare of neighboring groups also, those groups ought to be consulted. And no group, regional committee, or individual should ever take any action that might greatly affect AA as a whole without conferring with the trustees of the General Service Board. On such issues our common welfare is paramount.

Application in AA

Basic principle:

The group is autonomous = independent
Except where an outside entity is affected

Another group
AA as a whole

The group contributes to a larger structure ('AA as a whole')
And has responsibilities towards

Other groups
AA as a whole

But the group not subservient to other groups or AA as a whole

Authority

Although the group is autonomous (independent) at the material level ...
... it is subservient to an authority: its conscience

This is ever-present once a group (being a spiritual entity) is formed
But it manifests most clearly when the group holds a group conscience meeting

This group conscience originates in the individual members
Each member has a relationship (ideally) with a Higher Power
If the members do not have such a relationship ...
... or the relationship is blocked today ...
Then the conscience is informed by a lower power (the ego)

How Tradition IV is actually practised

If other groups are doing things differently, that's OK: it does not mean they're wrong
This means we do not comment on other groups or even have opinions about them
If we don't like them, we don't have to be members of or attend them
By the same token, each group is entitled to be left alone by other groups and their members
We do not have to have the same preamble, the same readings, the same format, etc.
All of this is subject to the exception clause

'Other groups or AA as a whole'

This includes all intermediate levels (Intergroups, Regions, Areas, Districts, etc.)
Practical examples of affecting other entities in AA

Public information work

Make sure that the boundaries of the public information work undertaken by different groups, Intergroups, etc. are clear
Copy reports to neighbouring groups, Intergroups, etc.
Consider impact across boundaries (administrative territorial divisions may not match AA's internal boundaries)
Cooperate across boundaries (e.g. at city-wide level)
Always get permission if work extends beyond the boundary of the group, Intergroup, etc.

Starting a new group

The exception clause concerns the welfare of other groups, not the opinions of the other group
Just because another group does not like my group's format etc. does not mean my group is affecting another group's welfare
Starting a group can affect attendance of other groups and ultimate threaten their existence

However:

This is not really a zero-sum game: often, opening new groups, particularly on different days, at different times, and with a different focus, increases overall attendance, grows membership, and actually strengthens other local groups
Spiritual market forces: competition forces complacent groups to become more effective to survive
Let members vote with their feet
If a group is more successful, and an older group has to close, maybe that's God's will

Publishing misleading literature

This could be member-produced literature, religious literature, literature by recovery publishers, or literature from other fellowships
This could give newcomers other members the idea that AA is something it is not
Generally don't use other literature at meetings (see also Tradition X, however)

Unless it's clearly signalled as non-Conference-approved
Strictly this stringency is not necessary ...
... but it does avoid controversy
And there are many other ways than an AA group setting to use other materials to the mutual benefit of its members

But Al-Anon literature is OK to sell (as long as it's separately stocked, labelled, and highlighted as non-AA literature) ...
... because we have a special and particular relationship with Al-Anon, which involves close cooperation

'Ought to be consulted': permission is not required, although consultation is preferred
'Without conferring with the trustees': permission is not required, although consultation is preferred
When consultation / conferring takes place, this does not shift the authority, which remains the group conscience

Affecting another group or AA as a whole does not bring the group under the aegis of other groups, AA as a whole, or the GSB
It still remains answerable only to its own conscience
But that conscience must be informed by its consultation with other groups or conferring with the GSB

If the group is truly committed to complying with all the Traditions (which are a package deal) ...
... it will always act ultimately in accordance with Tradition I: common welfare

Conferences / conventions

These can be very public
The AA name is involved
The actions of the conference / convention or its organisers / attendees can affect local and public reputation
They are therefore a matter of concern for AA as a whole
They must be 'sponsored' by an entity at an appropriate level in the structure
... which has the experience, authority, and financial means to take control of the event if necessary
Groups should not therefore hold large-scale conventions
(Although simple, cheap one- or two-day events can be OK)
Such large events are therefore sponsored by e.g. an Intergroup or Region or the General Service Board acting through a committee
This ensure financial and operational oversight, with four levers available in the case of misconduct or risk of misconduct

Censure
Redirection
Reorganisation
Replacement

The same principle applies to any other activity that affects public image

Posters
Literature printed by the organisation as a whole

Although local / special interest literature may be published by an element in the structure (e.g. an Intergroup) or an organ of the GSB
... provided that it is clear that it is not endorsed by the fellowship as a whole or the charity as a whole ...
Generally:

Books and professionally printed pamphlets or posters need conference approval
Simple flyers, handouts, information sheets, letters need only suitable oversight commensurate with the scope and reach of the material

Application in life

Personal principle

I have no other authority than my own conscience
But my conscience must be placed in the hands of God as the channel for Him to communicate with me
I cannot be prevented from believing what I believe and thinking what I think
My actions can be redirected, restricted, or halted by others
But that does not change who I am
Hide a light in a cardboard box and it's still a light

Tradition IV in relationships: the principle of domains

There are three domains

My private domain
The other person's private domain
The common domain

The common areas of the home
The household as a whole
Holidays
Division of duties
Spending time together
Shared obligations (e.g. family)

Tradition IV in relationships: live and let live

Live

'If I am I because I am I, and you are you because you are you—then I am I and you are you. But if I am I because you are you, and you are you because I am I—then I am not I and you are not you.' (Menachem Mendel of Kotzk)
I must have my own life (see Traditions V and VII)

Let live

Rabbi Manis Friedman: allow others modesty in relation to their character defects

Don't draw attention to them
Don't try to fix, change, or control them
Accept them
Work round them

Have no opinion on the other person's private life (Tradition X)
No snooping, spying, monitoring, or prying
People can be as secretive or candid as they wish
I have no 'right' to know anything
I make myself available for input but do not force disclosure

Tradition IV in relationships: the common ground

Big Book principles

Page 111: 'The first principle of success is that you should never be angry. Even though your husband becomes unbearable and you have to leave him temporarily, you should, if you can, go without rancor. Patience and good temper are most necessary.'
Page 108: 'Treat him, when you can, as though he had pneumonia.'
Page 118: 'Next time you and he have a heated discussion, no matter what the subject, it should be the privilege of either to smile and say, “This is getting serious. I’m sorry I got disturbed. Let’s talk about it later.”'
Page 118: 'Patience, tolerance, understanding and love are the watchwords. Show him these things in yourself and they will be reflected back to you from him. Live and let live is the rule. If you both show a willingness to remedy your own defects, there will be little need to criticise each other.'
Page 120: 'Cheer him up and ask him how you can be still more helpful.'

Approaches suggested by AA members

Yield, forgive, serve
Don P principle: practise 'Thy will be done' in relationships
Jim W principle: help others get their heart's desire

This is what they say they want
Give it to them as long as it does not hurt them
They don't need to explain or justify
What they want does not need to be rational
What you want is likely not rational either

Forgiveness of others' quirks

'His/her conduct has deep-seated psychological reasons of which he/she is not even aware'
They can't change themselves
Neither can you

Tradition IV in relationships: consultation and referral

Running decisions past other people if it will affect them

E.g. I run the following past my other half

Aspects of my AA schedule that affect our time together
Work on the home that causes disruption
Financial decisions affecting our joint finances

Setting boundaries with others when they affect us

Mission-critical boundaries

What is mission critical is doing God's will
To do God's will, I need to be able to sleep soundly and fully
To that end, it's OK to be fairly insistent about 'lights out' and minimal noise past a certain hour
Start with a polite request
Escalate to a tougher boundary only if necessary

Non-mission-critical requests

These concern preferences (e.g. holiday parameters, where to go for dinner, how shelves are arranged)
State preferences
Let it go at that
If you are both putting the other person first, the result tends to be good for all

'... no other authority but ...'

'Don't be a people pleaser; be a God-pleaser; there's only one of him' (Spiritual Paul)
Don't try to please lower authorities: sex, money, power, prestige, comfort, thrills, appearance
Following conscience can mean saying 'no' to others

Turning down unethical or inappropriate work (unfair pricing, customers asking for corners to be cut, ineffective or inefficient processes)
Not playing games initiated by others

Spiritual autonomy does not mean I have a blank cheque:

I exercise this autonomy responsibly by

Thinking through how I'm affecting others
Putting myself in their shoes
Watching out / listening out for my impact
Asking how I am affecting others

When conferring and consulting, the ideal is to achieve substantial unanimity with others (Concept XII)

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Tradition IV