How not to be miserable

I am regularly amazed to discover that, when I think fearful, resentful, or guilty thoughts, I feel fearful, resentful, or guilty feelings.

There is a place for the virtues of caution, discernment, and inventory. These are the positive siblings of fear, resentment, and guilt.

But these are to be exercised only as necessary, deliberately, and in an emotionally detached way.

If I want to feel differently, I have to think differently.

I am not responsible for the thoughts that come into my mind.

I am responsible for how long I think them.

If my feelings are to change, my thinking has to change.

God will do for me what I cannot do for myself, but God won't do for me what I can do for myself.

And what I think about is my business. If I take care of that, over time, God takes care of what I think of, and I am tempted less rarely to engage in misery-inducing thinking.

Once I realise I'm thinking fearful, resentful, and guilty thoughts, or, to put it another way, once I'm in engaged in worry, remorse, or morbid reflection (see page 86), here is the procedure:

Say a little prayer.

Redirect my attention to the task at hand or a higher realm.

Some things to direct thinking to:

Gratitude

How I can help others

How I can apply the Steps, the Traditions, and the Concepts to this situation

How I could share constructively about this situation at a meeting

Who I could call to ask how they are

Constructive action for today or the future

Learning prayers or chapters of othe Bible off by heart and then reciting them confidently

Positive and cheerful affirmations

Playing a musical instrument, painting, or drawing

Doing a jigsaw puzzle

Engaging in some other hobby or craft

Volunteer work

Paid work

Vigorous housework

Gardening

Spiritual reading

Spiritual videos

Spiritual audio recordings

Mindfulness meditation

Guided meditation

Apps like 'Insight Timer'

Reading and applying Emmet Fox or Norman Vincent Peale

Religious readings

The Bible and/or biblical commentaries, which explain the Bible

Learning Biblical Hebrew or New Testament Greek

Learning a foreign language generally

Exercising

Cooking challenging or interesting recipes for yourself or others

Going for a long walk in the city or a hike in the country

Swimming

Going to a meeting

Giving time, money, or 'stuff' to charity.

Engaging in other service in the Fellowship, community, or society

I'm sure you can increase the list!


In each of these activities, draw your attention gently but persistently back to the task or contemplative subject at hand. Do this until the temptation to think unhelpful thoughts gives up and goes away. This may takes seconds, minutes, hours, or occasionally days. But it always works, and God always shines through.