Step 10: A quick inventory

Sometimes, during the course of the day, something knocks you sideways, and simply batting it off and turning your attention to those you can help (pages 84–85) does not dislodge it.

If that be the case, try this:

Column 1: Trigger
Who has bothered me?

Column 2: Cause
What did they do / say / fail to do / fail to say?

Column 3: This affects my ... demands
Personal relations: He / she / they should ...
Sex relations: He / she / they should ...
Pocketbooks: What has happened / will happen / might happen? How does this affect my income, expenditure, assets, or liabilities?
Security: To be OK, I need ...
Ambitions: I want ...
Pride: He / she / they see me as ...; I want him / her / them to see me as ...
Self-esteem: I see myself as ...; I want to see myself as ...

Bridge passage
Drop the moral judgement and adopt a position of neutrality.
Drop the demands, downgrade them to preferences, and/or ask God what action to take yourself.
Look at the situation from the other person's point of view: identify with them.

Pray these prayers
(1) 'God, please help me show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.'
(2) 'This is a sick person (= spiritually asleep). How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.'
(3) 'God, please help me avoid retaliation or argument.'
(4) 'God, please show me how to take a kindly and tolerant view of this person.'

Column 4
What were my mistakes?
Where was I selfish?
Where was I dishonest?
What was I after (self-seeking)?
What was I frightened of?
Where was I to blame?
Where was I at fault (pick the top three character defects)?
What were my wrongs (harms towards others)?

Corrective measures
What should I have believed, thought, and done instead?
What should I believe, think, and do now?

Call a friend or two and share.