Quotations from throughout the Book: what not to do
Under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue.
We never argue this question.
It is of little use to
argue and only makes the impasse worse.
If he does not argue
about religion, he will make new friends and is sure to find new avenues of
usefulness and pleasure.
He refused to argue but was willing to explain and share his
own experiences.
Next time you and he have a heated discussion, no matter
what the subject, it should be the privilege of either to smile and say, “This
is getting serious. I’m sorry I got disturbed. Let’s talk about it later.”
These family talks will be constructive if they can be
carried on without heated argument, self-pity, self-justification or resentful criticism.
Argument and fault-finding are to be avoided like the
plague.
Unless they actually need protection from their father, it
is best not to take sides in any argument he has with them while drinking.
* * * * *
Quotations from throughout the Book: what to do
… provided … the alcoholic continues to demonstrate that he
can be sober, considerate, and helpful, regardless of what anyone says or does.
Use your energies to promote a better understanding all
around.
Be patient.
We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity,
and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.
We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward
all men, even our enemies, for we look on them as sick people.
So we clean house with the family, asking each morning in
meditation that our Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness
and love.
The first principle of success is that you should never be
angry.
Patience and good temper are most necessary.
Patience, tolerance, understanding and love are the
watchwords. Show him these things in yourself and they will be reflected back
to you from him.
* * * * *
Don P: If you want a successful relationship with God, say, ‘Thy
will be done.’ If you want a successful marriage, say, ‘thy will be done.’
Jim W: What is God’s will? Helping the rest of God’s kids
get their hearts’ desire. What’s that? Ask them. They will tell you. As long as
it doesn’t harm them or others, give it to them.
* * * * *
Do I have to say ‘yes’ to every request? Yes, subject to the
following principles:
(1) There is a maximum number of hours I can be of service a
day. I need to rest, relax, and look after myself.
(2) I do not accede to requests which harm the requester or
third parties.
(3) In general, I apply the ‘first come, first serve’ principle.
(4) I seek to say ‘yes’ in a way which maximises my usefulness.