The first nine Steps break down our old life and strip us
away to the bone. But this is not all: if we are to build a new life, we must
have a vision and a pathway. These come from God.
"Steps Eight and Nine are concerned with personal
relations. First, we take a look backward and try to discover where we have
been at fault; next we make a vigorous attempt to repair the damage we have
done; and third, having thus cleaned away the debris of the past, we consider
how, with our newfound knowledge of ourselves, we may develop the best possible
relations with every human being we know." (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step 8, paragraph 1)
Part of Steps Eight and Nine is therefore to ask God for
this vision and pathway.
This restores our relationships with others, or in some
cases builds entirely new ones.
Divide up your life into roles and activities: boyfriend /
girlfriend etc., son / daughter, best friend, sponsor, sponsee, colleague, employee,
AA member, tea-maker, etc.
For each, ask:
What is the vision of God's will for me, what is the sane
and sound ideal for my conduct in this area?
Consider long-term direction and what is required to move
your life forward (i.e. big changes) as well as daily conduct (i.e. small changes).
E.g.
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AA member
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Be a leader by example only
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Be one of many with one share in AA
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Oppose no one—stand for, not against
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Share my experience and the result—do not insist on a 'right way'
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Be discreet about what I share with whom
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Be kind about those not present
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Be mindful about who is listening to anything
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Friends
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Give my time
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Give my attention
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Be kind
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Teacher
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Plan lessons carefully
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Mark homework diligently but not obsessively
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Do not have expectations— so do not get annoyed when students do not
meet them
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Pay attention to their needs in classes
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