'Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or AA as a whole.'
- Tradition Four says that each group should be autonomous.
- Applied to me personally, that means I need to be autonomous: I need to seek God’s approval, not society’s or others’.
- I should be listening for the sound of the inner voice and be one with God.
- The first half of the fourth tradition also suggests that I need to take spiritual responsibility for myself. I do that by learning to speak God’s language through taking inventory.
- I permit God to govern me more and more by living the fourth tradition in my life as I become more spiritually responsible in working the fourth step.
- My relationship with my sponsor changes when I reach this tradition. I don’t consult a sponsor for decisions in my life. I consult a sponsor to reaffirm principles in the decisions I will make in autonomous prayer with God.
- I hear that inner voice and validate it by consulting the group conscience when doubtful.
- As inventory helps me stand on my own spiritual feet, I become less dependent on the personality of others in my life, and more trusting of principles.
- I turn to God to seek His approval as I turn away from seeking status in the world. It’s not people, places, things, relationships, status, or money that are going to satisfy me anymore. It is only seeking to be one with God in all my decisions that will satisfy me now.
- When I got sober, I found that I had to face my fears without alcohol in order to stay sober. I had to walk through them to maintain my self-respect. Constant risking to do God’s will is the source of today’s happiness for me. To lose my fear, I need to act fearlessly. All of us encounter situations that we must walk through fearlessly in order to do God’s will, even though it will not be popular with others. Confrontation with faith and a loving spirit is the challenge of sobriety. I confront those things I used to drink at. I am truthful without being hostile. For me, life is a series of challenges to my faith that keep my growing. As a result of this spiritual growth, I can stay sober.
- The second half of the fourth tradition shows me that I should not misuse my autonomous relationship with God.
- The second half of the fourth tradition balances the first half.
- The second half of the fourth tradition teaches me to consult others when I make decisions that affect them.
- I am not to be a dictator in making decisions that affect other people’s lives (or the community or society) as I did when I was drinking.
- I need help from others, especially in matters affecting them. My goal is unanimity.
- If I don’t seek the advice and help of others in matters affecting them, then I again become God in my own life, which is the exact nature of my wrongs.
- The defect that is the opposite of autonomy is people-pleasing, and the defect that is the opposite of unanimity is being a dictator.
- These defects are really two sides of the same coin: I sought to run things when I thought I was God and in charge, and then, when that failed, I sought the approval of others. I bounced around between being a dictator and people-pleasing.
- I like the way Allen McG expressed this dilemma. He said that we tried to cope with a neurotic need to dominate or an equally neurotic need for approval.
- The fourth tradition solves this dilemma: I seek to be one with God and to be one with others about matters affecting them.
- If I have a satisfying, autonomous relationship with a Higher Power, then I’ll have a good relationship with you. But if I don’t, I won’t have a good relationship with you because you are simply a reflection of my relationship with my Higher Power.
- If I’m in an unhappy relationship with another person, I am being told that I have an unhappy relationship with God. I am being told, ‘Straighten out your relationship with God first, and then this relationship will straighten out’.
- There is another reason why it is important for me to consult with others on decisions affecting them. God speaks to me through the voice of others, especially in matters affecting them. If I talk to somebody about a decision I want to make, and they don’t agree, I might begin to get a better idea as I listen to them. If I shut myself off from this consultation process, I shut myself off from finding out more about God’s will for me, as revealed through other people. That’s a big switch in an alcoholic’s thinking. The last thing I ever wanted when I drank was to consult other people.
- There are certain things that must be done alone with God, such as writing inventory. Writing inventory is an autonomous function. Then that inventory is shared with another human being. The fourth tradition parallels this procedure. I make decisions autonomously be seeking God’s approval in prayer. If the decision affects you, I consult you and try to seek unanimity with you (see the twelfth concept).
- I first ask the question: Would God approve of this course of action? Then I ask in prayer if this course of action will affect others. If so, I consult them.
- Let us approach God for solutions in all areas. Let us also meditate on our oneness of purpose with God. I define sanity as oneness of purpose with God. Let us centre on the oneness with our relationship with God that has been brought about through our sobriety. Let us seek the approval of an approval-giving God.
- Can I see a loving God in every area of my life and your life today? Can I see His love in our sobriety? Can I dwell in the autonomy of our loving relationship with God? It is a place of beauty that I don’t want to leave. Being with anyone we love is nice. Being one with a loving Creator defies description.
Inventory:
Looking at the above ideas:
Where am I currently falling down?
What can I do differently?