I've been there. Sponsees have been there. Here's the deal:
Alcoholism is a lot like dancing with a gorilla. You're not done dancing until the gorilla is done dancing. Except dancing is really a euphemism for dating. Except dating is really a euphemism for ... oh, never mind.
Anyway, you can't make the gorilla let go. It'll let go in a moment of clarity (= a rockbottom, aka nervous breakdown. It won't be pretty, so steel yourself). That's when you finally get it. Whilst the gorilla is gone, run from the cage, run like the wind, don't look back (in other words get a tough, tough sponsor and do exactly what they say), not even when the gorilla re-appears in the cage ('Poof!') and starts singing your tune.
So, what's with sober people who are MI-SE-RA-BLE or Al-Anons or Whatever-Anons who are MI-SE-RA-BLE and 'won't' or 'can't' work the steps?
Same principle, same cage, different gorilla. Actually the guerilla of the ego. Edging God Out. Ism. I see me. I sponsor myself. Overwhelmingly consumed with self, enthroned and downtrodden at the same time. Oh, and don't try and get between the person and the gorilla: you'll get your arms and legs yanked off, and not by the gorilla. Getting angry and stern, foreboding lectures have little impact, too.
You can't stop the dance, I can't stop the dance, they can't stop the dance. One day, the dance stops, for no apparent reason, and the tornado evaporates. The devastation is everywhere, and all is still.
Then, hope kicks in, and action is possible.
Jim W ('Al Kohallek') says:
'This workbook cannot help those who are active in their addictions. We don’t know of any programme that can help these people. Perhaps it is as simple as this: when the time comes to face the healing process, these people avoid the process via their addiction. Common sense tells us we need to totally abstain while working on this healing process. The mind that made us sick cannot make us well in its present state nor under the influence of the addiction. We need something higher than us, different than us, other than us, which can and will do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. This is a mind training and spiritual awakening programme, so it is important to be consciously present.'
Alcoholism is a lot like dancing with a gorilla. You're not done dancing until the gorilla is done dancing. Except dancing is really a euphemism for dating. Except dating is really a euphemism for ... oh, never mind.
Anyway, you can't make the gorilla let go. It'll let go in a moment of clarity (= a rockbottom, aka nervous breakdown. It won't be pretty, so steel yourself). That's when you finally get it. Whilst the gorilla is gone, run from the cage, run like the wind, don't look back (in other words get a tough, tough sponsor and do exactly what they say), not even when the gorilla re-appears in the cage ('Poof!') and starts singing your tune.
So, what's with sober people who are MI-SE-RA-BLE or Al-Anons or Whatever-Anons who are MI-SE-RA-BLE and 'won't' or 'can't' work the steps?
Same principle, same cage, different gorilla. Actually the guerilla of the ego. Edging God Out. Ism. I see me. I sponsor myself. Overwhelmingly consumed with self, enthroned and downtrodden at the same time. Oh, and don't try and get between the person and the gorilla: you'll get your arms and legs yanked off, and not by the gorilla. Getting angry and stern, foreboding lectures have little impact, too.
You can't stop the dance, I can't stop the dance, they can't stop the dance. One day, the dance stops, for no apparent reason, and the tornado evaporates. The devastation is everywhere, and all is still.
Then, hope kicks in, and action is possible.
Jim W ('Al Kohallek') says:
'This workbook cannot help those who are active in their addictions. We don’t know of any programme that can help these people. Perhaps it is as simple as this: when the time comes to face the healing process, these people avoid the process via their addiction. Common sense tells us we need to totally abstain while working on this healing process. The mind that made us sick cannot make us well in its present state nor under the influence of the addiction. We need something higher than us, different than us, other than us, which can and will do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. This is a mind training and spiritual awakening programme, so it is important to be consciously present.'