On a number of occasions, I have edged towards leaving the world of recovery. This (typically) does not happen in a single move, but in a sequence of moves, each of which appears entirely justified ... to me.
I haven't left the world of recovery and do not intend to, so I avoid making even the first move. Each moves facilitates the next, and the second move is easier to make than the first, etc.
Here are the four I watch out for:
In this move, I decide that other things are more important, and that my personal ambitions outrank God's will. In truth, my highest good involves specifically the performance of God's will, and seeking God's will appears still and on an ongoing basis to involve much involvement and work in the world of recovery.
This move involves fancied self-sufficiency: the delusion that I do not need a fellowship of people around me. I am of the opinion that some fellowship or other is required for all aspects of health and for all people. I understand this has much scientific backing. If I were not in AA, I would need plenty of social and community involvement. Why not, therefore, in AA?
This move can be executed within AA without one realising: going on a reasonably regular basis to maybe three or four different groups but not really making any of them my home.
This step away from AA is predicated on collective contempt for others in AA, because I believe they are hostile towards me or otherwise unhealthy. I have not often fallen for this, but in others I have seen this precipitate an abandonment of home group and all major connections, in one fell swoop. Once executed, this move is extremely difficult to come back from.
This step consists in an abandonment of spiritual principles on the basis that they are not going to work for me because I am too broken or too complicated. When I look back, every time this move has tempted me, I have been failing to drop an old idea. Of course if I am holding onto an old idea I will not make progress. I have needed repeatedly to let go absolutely.
To sum up, I watch out for these insidious justifications, because I believe my interests are better served by having a wide range of close relationships with a wide range of people who want to get well and seek to do God's will.
I haven't left the world of recovery and do not intend to, so I avoid making even the first move. Each moves facilitates the next, and the second move is easier to make than the first, etc.
Here are the four I watch out for:
Places to go, people to see
In this move, I decide that other things are more important, and that my personal ambitions outrank God's will. In truth, my highest good involves specifically the performance of God's will, and seeking God's will appears still and on an ongoing basis to involve much involvement and work in the world of recovery.
Just me and my horse
This move involves fancied self-sufficiency: the delusion that I do not need a fellowship of people around me. I am of the opinion that some fellowship or other is required for all aspects of health and for all people. I understand this has much scientific backing. If I were not in AA, I would need plenty of social and community involvement. Why not, therefore, in AA?
This move can be executed within AA without one realising: going on a reasonably regular basis to maybe three or four different groups but not really making any of them my home.
Infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for me
This step away from AA is predicated on collective contempt for others in AA, because I believe they are hostile towards me or otherwise unhealthy. I have not often fallen for this, but in others I have seen this precipitate an abandonment of home group and all major connections, in one fell swoop. Once executed, this move is extremely difficult to come back from.
The case that baffled doctors
This step consists in an abandonment of spiritual principles on the basis that they are not going to work for me because I am too broken or too complicated. When I look back, every time this move has tempted me, I have been failing to drop an old idea. Of course if I am holding onto an old idea I will not make progress. I have needed repeatedly to let go absolutely.
To sum up, I watch out for these insidious justifications, because I believe my interests are better served by having a wide range of close relationships with a wide range of people who want to get well and seek to do God's will.