The Big Book Step Four resentment inventory asks us to identify precisely what it is that others do that bothers us, and then to examine the area of self that is affected.
A close examination of the results will usually reveal that one has built up a substantial narrative about what happened that bears little resemblance to what actually happened. Also, much of how it supposedly affects the areas of self stems from overblown fiction.
Here are seven mental pests to uncover in this process, and to eliminate from one's thinking:
A close examination of the results will usually reveal that one has built up a substantial narrative about what happened that bears little resemblance to what actually happened. Also, much of how it supposedly affects the areas of self stems from overblown fiction.
Here are seven mental pests to uncover in this process, and to eliminate from one's thinking:
- Distortion
- Exaggeration
- Unreasonable generalisation
- Unreasonable interpretation
- Unreasonable speculation
- Unreasonable extrapolation
- Personalisation
The related mottos or questions:
- What actually happened: what are the facts?
- How important is it, really? Keep it right-sized!
- Don't take the event to represent the person
- Don't weave stories on top of reality
- Guessing is not fact: you do not know what they think or why they did it
- One swallow does not make a spring
- It's really not about you