'If-you-loved-me-you-would-agree-with-me-obey-me-and-let-me-shout-at-you-until-you-admit-that-you-are-wrong-and-I-am-right' is a sound that can be heard up and down the country in dysfunctional families. Maybe the people are crazy because someone in the family drinks a touch more than is strictly good for them, or maybe the drinkers are drowning themselves in a 'butt of Malmsey wine' because of the crazy people. Who knows. Anyway. How do you deal with it?
Well, firstly, arguing won't work. Egoic positions aren't amenable to rational discussion. Absenting yourself entirely is totally fine, and maybe if they get a therapist who encourages them to look at their own behaviour they'll figure out why. That might take, oh, a decade or two, in which case you're the witch and they're the princess in the meantime, and that can be hard to live with at a distance anyway.
So, how do you deal with it? Here's one way I've found successful:
First of all, I can say I disagree with a view or am turning down a request (actually it's usually a screaming demand but let's call it a request for the sake of argument). Then I can offer an explanation if it's asked for. I am willing to hear their explanation for their point of view or request. But I will then draw the line at engaging in cross-examination in either direction, any attempt to convince or persuade, in short, in any argument. Then I say I love them. Repeatedly.
This has worked out pretty well and has rewired several relationships in my life.
By the way, I checked it out and it's official: agreement and obedience are not synonyms of love. So there!