Saturday, 7 July 2018

Is it OK if I don't ...?

When one gives a raft of instructions to a sponsee, the sponsee will often find a reason not to follow a particular instruction and then seek 'permission' from the sponsor not to follow the instruction. The 'legitimacy' of the reason is irrelevant. I've only just recently realised why I'm uncomfortable offering 'permission'. Partly it's because in one sense it's none of my business. But in another sense it somehow provides a 'blessing', as if to say 'you will be doing just as well in your recovery if you don't take this particular action'. Of course I cannot say that: if I take an action I will get the benefit from that action. If I do not, I will not. No one is in a position to 'grant' me the benefit without the action, and I'm in no position to do that for anyone else.

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