Here are some tips from my morning Al-Anon reading, about relationships with people one is close to, although many are applicable more widely, too:
- Do some things together. Express love verbally. Do some things separately.
- Do not manipulate or instruct others to behave in a certain way just to play out your values, fulfil your unfulfilled desires, or allay your own fears by proxy.
- Respect others as beautiful souls in their own right, not delivery systems for your own unmet needs.
- Do not dictate who in your life will fulfil which need: trust God to give to you what you need through the people He chooses.
- Accept and appreciate others: do not try to adjust them to your template for how they should be.
- Others owe you nothing.
- Others are not responsible for the quality of your life.
- If I am disappointed with others, this is one hundred per cent the result of my perceptions and attitudes.