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Empathy vs sympathy

on January 05, 2018

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Step One117 Step One (Al-Anon)12 Step One (insanity)23 Step Seven46 Step Six42 Step Ten43 Step Three59 Step Three Idea13 Step Three Requirement14 Step Twelve7 Step Twelve (all our affairs)41 Step Twelve (carrying the message)69 Step Twelve (service)4 Step Two43 Step Two Proposition3 Step XII1 Step Zero5 Stopping drinking3 Stories1 Stress2 Structure of the fellowship1 Study1 Sub-committee3 Success9 Suffering14 Suggestions8 Suicide1 Surrender99 Sympathy1 Tact1 Take It Easy1 Talking1 Teamaking1 Therapy2 There Is A Solution5 Thinking95 Thirteenth Step1 Thoroughly1 Three Legacies1 Three-fold1 Time1 Tips4 To Wives3 Tolerance14 Toxicity1 Tradition I23 Tradition II23 Tradition III9 Tradition IV20 Tradition IX18 Tradition V20 Tradition VI11 Tradition VII13 Tradition VIII6 Tradition X17 Tradition XI14 Tradition XII13 Traditions10 Treasury1 Triggers3 Troubles7 True from the false (cannot differentiate)1 Trust19 Truth17 Turning over7 Twelve Step Fellowships4 Twelve Steps31 Twelve Steps and Twelve 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Step four, resentments, third column: so what?

In 1993, I wrote my first Fourth Step inventory. I was instructed to use the Big Book as the guide. I had a wonderful experience, and it changed my life. I remained confused, however, about the purpose of the third column of the resentment inventory. In this column, according to the Big Book, we are encouraged to write which area of 'self' is affected by a resentment. There are seven: pride, self-esteem, personal and sex relations, ambitions, security, and pocketbooks (= money). The Big Book then remains silent on the significance of the results—in other words what to 'do' with this information. The Fourth Step inventory is certainly effective, even without further work on this third column, as the suggestions on forgiveness on page 67 will be largely effective in removing most resentments, at least for the time being. I remained stuck, however, in double-digit sobriety, with resentments I could not get rid of and resentments that kept cropping up in diffe...

The evil and corroding thread

Fear. "This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It is an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn't deserve. But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. It seems to cause more trouble." (P. 67:2, 'Alcoholics Anonymous') Someone said to me yesterday: "whatever you reside in will manifest. If you reside in God, God will manifest; if you reside in fear, fear will manifest." Fear fear itself. There is a Jewish proverb, "to worry is a sin; the only permissible worry is that one worries." "Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable?" (P. 76:1) To arrive at the conclusion that fear is objectionable (which is the prerequisite for asking for its removal with sufficient e...

Using page 68 to solve the fear problem

Page 68 of the Big Book : 'Perhaps there is a better way—we think so. For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns . Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us , and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity. We never apologise to anyone for depending upon our Creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologise for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be . At once, we commence to outgrow fear.' The highlighted passages are the solution to fear. This is how to apply the solution: Fear What is my role? What wo...

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