Wednesday, 14 December 2016

Self-reliance

On occasion, I have presented my ego-based thinking to others, as if on a silver platter, for them to do something about. I will readily recognise that my thinking is the problem but want others to do something about it. This never works, because essentially I still believe in the ‘reality’ of my thinking. If I did not, what would I be offering up on the silver platter? The fact I believe in it is shown by the way I handle it. If you handle something as though it is real, you make it real to you. Others cannot do my thinking for me, and others cannot take responsibility for me on my behalf. It is I who determine what I deem to be real. Others cannot override this decision. The worst part of this is that, sometimes, others will then see what I’m serving up on the silver platter and treat it as though it is real, too. They’ll respond to it, argue with it, present counter-arguments, and so on. All of this appears to deny its content but actually reinforces the delusion of its substance. This makes the problem worse. If I think I see a ghost and you say you see it too, now there really are ghosts. I have now shared and doubled the problem.

Why is this relevant? If I believe that the ego-based thoughts—or self-destructive thoughts, or fear, or doubt, or suspicion, or whatever they are—have substance, I will one day obey them, because that is simply how my mind works. Whatever I believe is my god. There is nowhere to hide from this.

So, does that mean I am supposed to pretend such thoughts are not there? Absolutely not, because what grows in the dark grows rampant. The job is not to present the thoughts as substance, in the hope that you can present something more substantial, because logical argument is slippery in this domain, and the right answer does not always win against the ego (note, for instance, mass delusion and irrationality in society), at least not straight away (‘grace bats last’); the job, rather, is to recognise that there is nothing there. There are meaningless words, and the meaningless words running through my mind are creating a vision of a meaningless world. This does need to be shared with others, not by saying, ‘here’s the terrifying substance I’ve found’, but by saying ‘here’s the nothingness which has no meaning.’

I am the one that must take charge of my thinking about beliefs and must actively decide in favour of faith and God, regardless of what illusions I’m tempted to fall for.

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