‘Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not
completely give themselves to this simple programme, usually men and women who
are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves.’
‘We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot
or will not work with you.’
‘Some men cannot or will not get over alcoholism.’
‘But if you cannot or will not stop drinking, I think you
ought to resign.’
‘If he cannot or does not want to stop, he should be
discharged.’
‘At the same time you will feel no reluctance to rid
yourself of those who cannot or will not stop.’
It is interesting that the book seems repeatedly to conflate
those who ‘cannot’ and those who ‘will not’ get over drinking. It could be
because they keep relapsing; it could be because they steadfastly refuse to
follow instructions given to them. Either way, it’s impossible to tell from the
outside whether the person lacks the capacity or willingness, and maybe the
person himself does not know. What is clear is that AA works for those who take
the actions indicated.
I didn’t need faith in God to take the actions, or faith in
myself. I needed to be willing to take actions I did not believe in because the
people who suggested them were doing better than me. On 24 July 1993, I fired
myself from the board of directors of my life. What I thought and felt no
longer mattered; what mattered was following the instructions my sponsor gave
me, namely to work the steps and engage in fellowship and service in the spirit
outlined in the book ‘Alcoholics Anonymous’. My doubts and fears were
irrelevant. They were a nuisance but nothing more; they no longer advised the
board of directors of my life. From that point on, I started to recover. I have
spent over half my life sober in AA. The actions did not care why I took them
but worked anyway to put me in touch with a power greater than myself, which
solved my alcohol problem, and all my other ones, too.