Here are some tips (all pages
references are to Alcoholics Anonymous). Not all tips will apply in
all situations.
First of all, I have to clear away emotions
that could distort the decision or reduce them to natural proportions:
- If I have
emotional disturbance around the question, I do four-column inventory and
apply the prayers on page 67. I endeavour to forgive everyone for
everything.
- If I am
frightened, I do the inventory on page 68 and apply the instructions on
the same page for eliminating the fear. I decide to serve God and only God
and rise above the fear.
- If
there are outstanding amends in the area, I make those before the decision
(pages 76–83).
Spiritually preparing for making a
decision:
- I apply
the page 86 instructions for the beginning of the day before praying
specifically on the topic (asking God to direct my thinking), etc.
- I ask specifically
to be guided by what I can give not what I can get—I remember that I’m there
to do God’s will, not my will, and I’m there to help the rest of God’s kids
get their heart’s desire by performing His work well (see page 63).
- I ask
specifically ‘what is for the good of all?’
The decision-making process itself is
divided into several stages.
Stage 1: aim
- What is
the purpose, the outcome, the objective of the proposed course of action? What
problem or lack does the proposed course of action seek to solve? (Tradition
Five: what is the primary purpose?)
- What spiritual
principles are going to guide the attainment of that purpose (e.g. usefulness,
kindness, tact, consideration, humility)? The principles for how to make
amends on pages 76–83 are very good on general spiritual principles, as
are pages 110–135.
- Even if
something is God’s will, is it God’s will for me, as opposed to anyone
else? Is God really delegating this one to me? (Twelve Concepts)
- Is this
genuinely God’s will or is this self-centredness dressed up as God’s will?
Are there any secret selfish plans lurking? Bad motives lurking under
good?
- Am I personally
attached to a particular outcome (Tradition Six)?
- Am I
being over-organised—in other words controlling (Tradition Nine)?
Stage 2: options
- What
are the available options (i.e. what courses of action are open to me,
including doing nothing)?
- What
would each involve, practically?
Stage 3: assessment
- What
are the advantages and disadvantages of each option?
- What
are the risks associated with each option?
- How serious are those risks?
- How likely are those risks?
- Can those risks be mitigated?
- What experience do I have with each option?
- I consult
one or two highly trusted individuals who are logical, rational,
reasonable, experienced, and have a sense of humour.
- I don’t
shop around for views or I will confuse myself.
- Is this
a decision which involves other people? Do I need their permission
(Tradition Four)?
- Is this
a decision which should be made jointly? Do I need to hold a ‘group
conscience’ with them? (Tradition Two)
Stage 5: asking God
- I ask
God specifically for direction.
- I listen
to or read spiritual materials, seeking guidance through those materials.
- I sit
quietly and wait for answers.
- I write
down anything that comes.
- I consult
back with the one or two highly trusted individuals.
Stage 6: conclusion
- I choose
an option from amongst those available.
- I follow
through.
- If the
decision turns out to be wrong, I admit it promptly.