I'm an alcoholic. But I also know alcoholics. Sometimes they drink, and you ask yourself questions like, 'do they not care about me any more?' The personality has changed, and the love, affection, attention, or other good characteristics have disappeared. One is left only with the alcoholic's lizard brain: bring me flies; give me warmth. The alcoholic appears to be himself, in one way, but the 'self' is being used by the disease. The same applies to the anger, the withdrawal, the reproach, the insinuation, the prevarication, the inconsistency, the confusion, and other characteristics that arise and flower in the shadow of the terrible, vengeful God of the ego.
The body is moving, the lips are moving, the eyes are glinting, but the alcoholic is asleep. One would not attempt to make sense of the verbal ramblings of a sleepwalker; one would not take anything he says personally. The same is true of the drinking alcoholic: what they say is emanating from sleep, albeit, but perhaps most pertinently, spiritual sleep.
You know what? The same applies to alcoholics who are sober but are on an emotional jag. The body is moving, the lips are moving, the eyes are glinting, but the sober alcoholic is asleep. What they say out of fear, masking anger, or out of anger, masking fear, is but an emanation of someone sleep-talking.
Do not try to awake him; he will appear to awaken but still be asleep; the process cannot be forced. Do not take anything he says personally. Do not wonder where the person you remember has gone. Do not wonder if the love previously expressed was a lie. The person is merely asleep. Let him sleep. Do not hover over the bed, keeping a vigil; go and find others who are also awake and hang out there. Let him sleep in peace for as long as he needs.