What if I don't want to stop?

My drinking had three phases. Fun; fun plus problems; problems. I did not stop until I was in the problems phase.

What can help is this:

The two features of alcoholism are these:

(1) when I start drinking, I cannot predict how much I will drink, what I will do whilst drink, and when (if ever) I will return to a sober life;

(2) bad experiences are insufficient alone to prevent me from taking the first drink.

These two make me an alcoholic; this insight plus the knowledge that alcoholism is fatal and progressive were sufficient to induce the 'wanting to stop' that had previously been absent; basically, knowing the truth took the last remnant of fun out of drinking.

I could no longer kid myself I was not dying.