Monday, 6 July 2015
The point of the first eleven steps is to prepare one for the twelfth. A lot of people get disillusioned in recovery because they work hard at the steps but are still crazy. Almost invariably, there is an absence or deficit of service.
Imagine you have a delivery van. The first eleven steps repair and spruce up the delivery van. But you sit in the garage, in the driver's seat, depressed and paralysed, because you are aware there is nothing in the back. There are no goods to deliver. And no one to deliver them to. So you ask and wait, praying that God remove your boredom and paralysis.
God is waiting for a different question: who should I be delivering to? This seems like an insane question when the van is empty. However, if you ask, God will give you a name. And you go and deliver the nothing that you have. Embarrassed, you open the back of the van, and the recipient gasps in delight. It turns out you have in the back of your van exactly what your recipient wants. Sometimes, but not always, although increasingly over time, the invisible goods your van is groaning with become visible to you, as they always have been to others and to God.
Therefore, stop thinking about yourself and get out there and deliver. There is no time to waste on self-pity; pity was meant for the world, not for you. Go!