In the third column of the resentment inventory, we discover that we are unhappy because various people and circumstances are affecting the seven areas of self. Many people stop there.
A new perspective is necessary on all seven for us to move beyond victimhood.
Pride. This is where I am concerned with what others think about me. The lesson: what others think is of no significance. What I am and what I am worth are unaffected by good or bad opinion. Approval is a vile, worthless drug. Drop the senseless, childish vanity and know who and what I am.
Self-esteem. This is where I am concerned about what I think about myself. What I really am is spirit, born of God. I inhabit a human existence where I play roles assigned, but I am not the characters I play. What I am is of infinite value and changeless. Drop all external identification and live with integrity, and self-esteem ceases to be a problem.
Personal and sex relations, plus ambitions. This is the set of scripts I have given others to follow for my plans to be fulfilled, plus the fulfilment of those plans. The plan (the ambitions) and the scripts need to be dropped, as we have decided in Step Three that our plans for money, sex, power, prestige, comfort, thrills, and appearance largely bring anxiety, frustration, disappointment, and despair. The decision has already been made to drop these plans in return for doing God's will. Now it is time to put my money where my mouth is and recognise these plans, scripts, and ambitions as worthless.
Security and pocketbooks. These do matter but are rarely well managed directly. Serve God and these take care of themselves.
If I genuinely wish to jettison my false images of self, my false attachments, and my little plans and designs, instead to serve God, knowing I will be given everything I need for health, happiness, harmony, love, joy, peace, and connection, I can, in turn, be free of unwanted disturbance, if, that is, I am happy to completely abandon myself.