We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity,
and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person
offended we said to ourselves, 'This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to
him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.’’ We avoid retaliation or
argument. We wouldn’t treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance
of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will
show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one. Referring
to our list again.
Alcoholics Anonymous, page 67
If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest
desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and
will have learned our lesson.
Alcoholics Anonymous, page 70
Nevertheless, with a person we dislike, we take the bit in
our teeth. It is harder to go to an enemy than to a friend, but we find it much
more beneficial to us. We go to him in a helpful and forgiving spirit, confessing
our former ill feeling and expressing our regret.
Alcoholics Anonymous, page 77
A man we know had remarried. Because of resentment and
drinking, he had not paid alimony to his first wife. She was furious. She went
to court and got an order for his arrest. He had commenced our way of life, had
secured a position, and was getting his head above water. It would have been impressive
heroics if he had walked up to the judge and said, 'Here I am.’’ We thought he
ought to be willing to do that if necessary, but if he were in jail he could
provide nothing for either family. We suggested he write his first wife
admitting his faults and asking forgiveness.
Alcoholics Anonymous, page 79
When we retire at night, we constructively review our day.
Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we
kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at
once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we
thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do
for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be
careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish
our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God’s forgiveness and
inquire what corrective measures should be taken.
Alcoholics Anonymous, page 86
If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will
pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will
ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you
will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you
will be free. Even when you don’t really want it for them and your prayers are
only words and you don’t mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it every day
for two weeks, and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for
them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and
resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love.
Alcoholics Anonymous, page 552
This vital Step was also the means by which we began to get
the feeling that we could be forgiven, no matter what we had thought or done.
Often it was while working on this Step with our sponsors or spiritual advisers
that we first felt truly able to forgive others, no matter how deeply we felt
they had wronged us. Our moral inventory had persuaded us that all-round
forgiveness was desirable, but it was only when we resolutely tackled Step Five
that we inwardly knew we’d be able to receive forgiveness and give it, too.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Five
If we ask, God will certainly forgive our derelictions. But
in no case does He render us white as snow and keep us that way without our
cooperation. That is something we are supposed to be willing to work toward
ourselves. He asks only that we try as best we know how to make progress in the
building of character.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Six
These obstacles, however, are very real. The first, and one
of the most difficult, has to do with forgiveness. The moment we ponder a
twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive.
To escape looking at the wrongs we have done another, we resentfully focus on
the wrong he has done us. This is especially true if he has, in fact, behaved
badly at all. Triumphantly we seize upon his misbehaviour as the perfect excuse
for minimizing or forgetting our own.
Right here we need to fetch ourselves up sharply. It doesn't
make much sense when a real tosspot calls a kettle black. Let's remember that
alcoholics are not the only ones bedevilled by sick emotions. Moreover, it is
usually a fact that our behaviour when drinking has aggravated the defects of
others. We've repeatedly strained the patience of our best friends to a
snapping point, and have brought out the very worst in those who didn't think
much of us to begin with. In many instances we are really dealing with fellow
sufferers, people whose woes we have increased. If we are now about to ask
forgiveness for ourselves, why shouldn't we start out by forgiving them, one
and all?
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Eight
In all these situations we need self-restraint, honest
analysis of what is involved, a willingness to admit when the fault is ours,
and an equal willingness to forgive when the fault is elsewhere. We need not be
discouraged when we fall into the error of our old ways, for these disciplines
are not easy. We shall look for progress, not for perfection.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Ten
'Lord, make me a channel of thy peace—that where there is
hatred, I may bring love—that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of
forgiveness—that where there is discord, I may bring harmony—that where there
is error, I may bring truth—that where there is doubt, I may bring faith—that
where there is despair, I may bring hope—that where there are shadows, I may
bring light—that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I
may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted—to understand, than to be understood—to
love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by
forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal
Life. Amen.'
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Eleven
Central to New Thought philosophy was the perspective which
saw that love and personal forgiveness were the keys to fundamental
transformation: 'Love is by far the most important thing of all. It is the Golden
Gate of Paradise. Pray for the understanding of love, and meditate upon it
daily. It casts out fear. It is the fulfilling of the Law. It covers a
multitude of sins. Love is absolutely invincible.'
Fox went on to say that forgiveness was an integral part of
the Pathway of Love, 'which is open to everyone in all circumstances, and upon
which you may step at any moment—at this moment if you like—requires no formal
introduction, has no conditions whatever. It calls for no expensive laboratory
in which to work, because your own daily life, and your ordinary daily
surroundings are your laboratory. It needs no reference library, no
professional training, no external apparatus of any kind. All it does need is
that you should begin steadfastly to expel from your mentality every thought of
personal condemnation (you must condemn a wrong action, but not the actor), of
resentment for old injuries, and of everything which is contrary to the law of
Love. You must not allow yourself to hate either person, or group, or nation,
or anything whatever.'
'You must build up by faithful daily exercise the true
Love-consciousness, and then all the rest of spiritual development will follow
upon that. Love will heal you. Love will illumine you.'
Emmet Fox and Alcoholics Anonymous, By Igor S., Hartford,
Connecticut, February 1996 AA Grapevine
The Shulchan Aruch,
or Code of Jewish Law, states that all the atonement possible is ineffective if
an individual has harmed another, unless forgiveness from the victim has been
sought. If the wrong action resulted in financial loss, then adequate
restitution is required. If the offended party refuses to grant forgiveness, he
is to be approached three times. If he remains obstinate in refusing
forgiveness, and the offender sincerely regrets his behaviour, Divine
forgiveness is assured. If the victim has died, the Shulchan Aruch requires
that one take a minyan (a quorum of
ten people) and visit the burial place to publicly ask forgiveness.
Spirituality, Prayer, the Twelve Steps and Judaism, by Rabbi
Abraham J. Twerski, M.D., 1993
But if romantic attraction is the basis for love among
courting couples, it is no long-term basis on which to build a marriage. The
illusion of perfection in the other will not last. And that is why the essence
of marital love is not romance but forgiveness.
Let me be very clear as to what I mean by that. To define
love as forgiveness does not mean that a man can inform his wife about his
extramarital affairs and when she becomes upset, say, 'The fact that she can't
forgive me proves that she doesn't love me and that justifies my doing what I
did.' Defining love as forgiveness does not require a battered wife to continue
to suffer physical abuse at the hands of an abusive husband. Neither does it
require you to let yourself be exploited and walked over without a protest.
Forgiveness as the truest form of love means accepting without bitterness the
flaws and imperfections of our partner, and praying that our partner accepts
our flaws as well. Romantic love overlooks faults ('love is blind') in an
effort to persuade ourselves that we deserve a perfect partner. Mature marital
love sees faults clearly and forgives them, understanding that there are no
perfect people, that we don't have to pretend perfection, and that an imperfect
spouse is all that an imperfect person like us can aspire to. ('For years, I
was looking for the perfect man, and when I finally found him, it turned out he
was looking for the perfect woman and that wasn't me.')
How Good Do We Have To Be? Rabbi Harold Kushner
An inability to love another person often expresses itself
as an inability to forgive them for their all-too-human flaws. 'I'm so good I
don't have to put up with a flawed person like you.'
How Good Do We Have To Be? Rabbi Harold Kushner
The embarrassing secret is that many of us are reluctant to
forgive. We nurture grievances because that makes us feel morally superior.
Withholding forgiveness gives us a sense of power, often power over someone who
otherwise leaves us feeling powerless. The only power we have over them is the
power to remain angry at them. At some level, we enjoy the role of being the
long-suffering, aggrieved party.
How Good Do We Have To Be? Rabbi Harold Kushner
Pastoral counsellor David Norris puts it this way: 'Forgiveness
involves a letting go not only of the negative energy connected with an injury
but also of the meanings which we learned as a result of that and similar
injuries throughout one's life.' By 'negative energy', Norris means the sense
of bitterness and resentment we carry with us when we remember how someone has
hurt us. When I would counsel a divorcée still seething about her husband's
having left her for another woman years ago and having fallen behind on child
support payments, and she would ask me, 'How can you expect me to forgive him
after what he's done to me and the children?' I would answer, 'I'm not asking
you to forgive him because what he did wasn't so terrible; it was terrible. I'm
suggesting that you forgive him because he doesn't deserve to have this power
to turn you into a bitter, resentful woman. When he left, he gave up the right
to inhabit your life and mind to the degree that you're letting him. Your being
angry at him doesn't harm him, but it hurts you. It's turning you into someone
you don't really want to be. Release that anger, not for his sake—he probably
doesn't deserve it—but for your sake, so that the real you can re-emerge.' And
when the negative energy distances us from someone we want to be connected
with—a husband or wife, a brother or sister, a close friend who has
disappointed us—it is that much more important that we learn to discharge it.
How Good Do We Have To Be? Rabbi Harold Kushner
When we forgive, when we come to see what someone did to us
not as the result of malice or the dismissal of our feelings, but as the result
of human weakness, impatience, and imperfection, we not only free the other
person from the role of villain; we free ourselves from the role of victim.
How Good Do We Have To Be? Rabbi Harold Kushner
'On the day the Baal Shem Tov was dying, he assigned each of
his disciples a task to carry on in his name, to do some of his work. When he
finished with all of them, he had one more task. He called the last disciple
and gave him this task: to go all over Europe to retell the stories he
remembered from the Master. The disciple was very disappointed. This was hardly
a prestigious job. But the Baal Shem Tov told him that he would not have to do
this forever; he would receive a sign when he should stop and then he could
live out the rest of his life in ease.
So off he went, and days and months turned into years and
years of telling stories until he felt he had told them in every part of the
world. Then he heard of a man in Italy, a nobleman in fact, who would pay a gold
ducat for each new story told. So the disciple went to Italy to the nobleman's
castle. But to his absolute horror he discovered that he had forgotten all the
Baal Shem Tov stories! He couldn't remember a single story. He was mortified.
But the nobleman was kind and urged him to stay a few days anyway, in the hope
that he would eventually remember something.
But the next day and the next he remembered nothing.
Finally, on the third day, the disciple protested that he must go, out of sheer
embarrassment. But as he was about to leave, oh, yes, suddenly he remembered
one story, and this would prove that he indeed did know the great Baal Shem
Tov, for he was the only one there when the story happened. And this is the
story he remembered.
Once the Baal Shem Tov told him to harness the horses, for
they were about to take a trip to Turkey where at this time of the year the
streets were decorated for the Christians' Easter festival. The disciple was
upset, for it was well known that Jews were not safe during the Christian Holy
Week and Easter. They were fair game for the Christians shouting 'God-killers!'
And, in fact, it was the custom during the Easter festival to kill one Jew in
reparation.
Still, they went. They went into the city and then into the
Jewish quarter, where the Jews were all huddled behind their shutters out of
fear. They were secluded, waiting till the festival was over and they could go
on out into the streets again in safety. So imagine how startled and surprised
they were when the Baal Shem Tov stood up and opened all the windows of the
house where they were staying. And furthermore he stood there in full view!
And looking through the window he saw the bishop leading the
procession. He was arrayed like a prince with gold vestments, silver mitre, and
a diamond-studded staff. The Baal Shem Tov told his disciple, 'Go tell the
bishop I want to see him.' Was he out of his mind? Did he want to die? But
nothing could deter this order, so the disciple went out and went up to the
bishop to tell him that the Baal Shem Tov wanted to see him. The bishop seemed
frightened and agitated. But he went. He went and was secluded for three hours
with the Baal Shem Tov. Then the Master came out and, without saying anything
else, told his disciples they were ready to go back home.
As the disciple finished the story, he was about to
apologise to the nobleman for the insignificance of the story, when he suddenly
noticed the enormous impact the story had on the nobleman. He had dissolved
into tears, and, finally, when he could speak, he said, 'Oh, disciple, your
story has just saved my soul! You see, I was there that day. I was that bishop.
I had descended from a long line of distinguished rabbis, but, one day, during
a period of great persecution, I had abandoned the faith and converted to
Christianity. The Christians, of course, were so pleased that, in time, they
even made me a bishop. And I had accepted everything, even went along with the
killing of the Jews each year, until that one year. The night before the
festival, I had a terrible dream of the Day of Judgement, and the danger to my
soul. So, until you came, the very next day, with a message from the Baal Shem
Tov, I knew that I had to go with you.
For three hours, he and I talked. He told me that there
still might be hope for my soul. He told me to sell my goods and retire on what
was left and live a life of good deeds and holiness. There might still be hope.
And his last words to me were these: 'when a man comes to you and tells you
your own story, you will know that your sins are forgiven.'
'So I have been asking everyone I knew for stories from the
Baal Shem Tov. And I recognised you immediately when you came, and I was happy.
But when I saw that all the stories had been taken from you, I recognised God's
judgement. Yet now you have remembered one story, my story, and I know now that the Baal Shem Tov has interceded on
my behalf, and that God has forgiven me.'
When a man comes to you and tells you your own story, you
know that your sins are forgiven. And when you are forgiven, you are healed.'
Storytelling: Imagination and Faith, William J. Bausch
LESSON 126.
All that I give is given to myself.
W-pI.126.1. Today's idea, completely alien to the ego and
the thinking of the world, is crucial to the thought reversal that this course
will bring about. 2 If you believed this statement, there would be no problem
in complete forgiveness, certainty of goal, and sure direction. 3 You would
understand the means by which salvation comes to you, and would not hesitate to
use it now.
W-pI.126.2. Let us consider what you do believe, in place of
this idea. 2 It seems to you that other people are apart from you, and able to
behave in ways which have no bearing on your thoughts, nor yours on theirs. 3
Therefore, your attitudes have no effect on them, and their appeals for help
are not in any way related to your own. 4 You further think that they can sin
without affecting your perception of yourself, while you can judge their sin,
and yet remain apart from condemnation and at peace.
W-pI.126.3. When you 'forgive' a sin, there is no gain to
you directly. 2 You give charity to one unworthy, merely to point out that you
are better, on a higher plane than he whom you forgive. 3 He has not earned
your charitable tolerance, which you bestow on one unworthy of the gift, because
his sins have lowered him beneath a true equality with you. 4 He has no claim
on your forgiveness. 5 It holds out a gift to him, but hardly to yourself.
W-pI.126.4. Thus is forgiveness basically unsound; a
charitable whim, benevolent yet undeserved, a gift bestowed at times, at other
times withheld. 2 Unmerited, withholding it is just, nor is it fair that you
should suffer when it is withheld. 3 The sin that you forgive is not your own.
4 Someone apart from you committed it. 5 And if you then are gracious unto him
by giving him what he does not deserve, the gift is no more yours than was his
sin.
W-pI.126.5. If this be true, forgiveness has no grounds on
which to rest dependably and sure. 2 It is an eccentricity, in which you
sometimes choose to give indulgently an undeserved reprieve. 3 Yet it remains
your right to let the sinner not escape the justified repayment for his sin. 4
Think you the Lord of Heaven would allow the world's salvation to depend on
this? 5 Would not His care for you be small indeed, if your salvation rested on
a whim?
W-pI.126.6. You do not understand forgiveness. 2 As you see
it, it is but a check upon overt attack, without requiring correction in your
mind. 3 It cannot give you peace as you perceive it. 4 It is not a means for your
release from what you see in someone other than yourself. 5 It has no power to
restore your unity with him to your awareness. 6 It is not what God intended it
to be for you.
W-pI.126.7. Not having given Him the gift He asks of you,
you cannot recognize His gifts, and think He has not given them to you. 2 Yet
would He ask you for a gift unless it was for you? 3 Could He be satisfied with
empty gestures, and evaluate such petty gifts as worthy of His Son? 4 Salvation
is a better gift than this. 5 And true forgiveness, as the means by which it is
attained, must heal the mind that gives, for giving is receiving. 6 What
remains as unreceived has not been given, but what has been given must have
been received.
W-pI.126.8. Today we try to understand the truth that giver
and receiver are the same. 2 You will need help to make this meaningful,
because it is so alien to the thoughts to which you are accustomed. 3 But the
Help you need is there. 4 Give Him your faith today, and ask Him that He share
your practicing in truth today. 5 And if you only catch a tiny glimpse of the
release that lies in the idea we practice for today, this is a day of glory for
the world.
W-pI.126.9. Give fifteen minutes twice today to the attempt
to understand today's idea. 2 It is the thought by which forgiveness takes its
proper place in your priorities. 3 It is the thought that will release your
mind from every bar to what forgiveness means, and let you realize its worth to
you.
W-pI.126.10. In silence, close your eyes upon the world that
does not understand forgiveness, and seek sanctuary in the quiet place where
thoughts are changed and false beliefs laid by. 2 Repeat today's idea, and ask
for help in understanding what it really means. 3 Be willing to be taught. 4 Be
glad to hear the Voice of truth and healing speak to you, and you will
understand the words He speaks, and recognize He speaks your words to you.
W-pI.126.11. As often as you can, remind yourself you have a
goal today; an aim which makes this day of special value to yourself and all
your brothers. 2 Do not let your mind forget this goal for long, but tell yourself:
3 All that I give is
given to myself. 4 The Help I need to learn that this is true is with me now. 5
And I will trust in Him.
6 Then spend a quiet moment, opening your mind to His
correction and His Love. 7 And what you hear of Him you will believe, for what
He gives will be received by you.
LESSON 134.
Let me perceive forgiveness as it is.
W-pI.134.1. Let us review the meaning of 'forgive,' for it
is apt to be distorted and to be perceived as something that entails an unfair
sacrifice of righteous wrath, a gift unjustified and undeserved, and a complete
denial of the truth. 2 In such a view, forgiveness must be seen as mere
eccentric folly, and this course appear to rest salvation on a whim.
W-pI.134.2. This twisted view of what forgiveness means is
easily corrected, when you can accept the fact that pardon is not asked for
what is true. 2 It must be limited to what is false. 3 It is irrelevant to
everything except illusions. 4 Truth is God's creation, and to pardon that is
meaningless. 5 All truth belongs to Him, reflects His laws and radiates His
Love. 6 Does this need pardon? 7 How can you forgive the sinless and eternally
benign?
W-pI.134.3. The major difficulty that you find in genuine
forgiveness on your part is that you still believe you must forgive the truth,
and not illusions. 2 You conceive of pardon as a vain attempt to look past what
is there; to overlook the truth, in an unfounded effort to deceive yourself by
making an illusion true. 3 This twisted viewpoint but reflects the hold that
the idea of sin retains as yet upon your mind, as you regard yourself.
W-pI.134.4. Because you think your sins are real, you look
on pardon as deception. 2 For it is impossible to think of sin as true and not
believe forgiveness is a lie. 3 Thus is forgiveness really but a sin, like all
the rest. 4 It says the truth is false, and smiles on the corrupt as if they
were as blameless as the grass; as white as snow. 5 It is delusional in what it
thinks it can accomplish. 6 It would see as right the plainly wrong; the loathsome
as the good.
W-pI.134.5. Pardon is no escape in such a view. 2 It merely
is a further sign that sin is unforgivable, at best to be concealed, denied or
called another name, for pardon is a treachery to truth. 3 Guilt cannot be
forgiven. 4 If you sin, your guilt is everlasting. 5 Those who are forgiven
from the view their sins are real are pitifully mocked and twice condemned;
first, by themselves for what they think they did, and once again by those who
pardon them.
W-pI.134.6. It is sin's unreality that makes forgiveness
natural and wholly sane, a deep relief to those who offer it; a quiet blessing
where it is received. 2 It does not countenance illusions, but collects them
lightly, with a little laugh, and gently lays them at the feet of truth. 3 And
there they disappear entirely.
W-pI.134.7. Forgiveness is the only thing that stands for
truth in the illusions of the world. 2 It sees their nothingness, and looks
straight through the thousand forms in which they may appear. 3 It looks on
lies, but it is not deceived. 4 It does not heed the self-accusing shrieks of
sinners mad with guilt. 5 It looks on them with quiet eyes, and merely says to
them, 'My brother, what you think is not the truth.'
W-pI.134.8. The strength of pardon is its honesty, which is
so uncorrupted that it sees illusions as illusions, not as truth. 2 It is
because of this that it becomes the undeceiver in the face of lies; the great
restorer of the simple truth. 3 By its ability to overlook what is not there,
it opens up the way to truth, which has been blocked by dreams of guilt. 4 Now
are you free to follow in the way your true forgiveness opens up to you. 5 For
if one brother has received this gift of you, the door is open to yourself.
W-pI.134.9. There is a very simple way to find the door to
true forgiveness, and perceive it open wide in welcome. 2 When you feel that
you are tempted to accuse someone of sin in any form, do not allow your mind to
dwell on what you think he did, for that is self-deception. 3 Ask instead, 'Would
I accuse myself of doing this?'
W-pI.134.10. Thus will you see alternatives for choice in
terms that render choosing meaningful, and keep your mind as free of guilt and
pain as God Himself intended it to be, and as it is in truth. 2 It is but lies
that would condemn. 3 In truth is innocence the only thing there is. 4
Forgiveness stands between illusions and the truth; between the world you see
and that which lies beyond; between the hell of guilt and Heaven's gate.
W-pI.134.11. Across this bridge, as powerful as love which
laid its blessing on it, are all dreams of evil and of hatred and attack
brought silently to truth. 2 They are not kept to swell and bluster, and to
terrify the foolish dreamer who believes in them. 3 He has been gently wakened
from his dream by understanding what he thought he saw was never there. 4 And
now he cannot feel that all escape has been denied to him.
W-pI.134.12. He does not have to fight to save himself. 2 He
does not have to kill the dragons which he thought pursued him. 3 Nor need he
erect the heavy walls of stone and iron doors he thought would make him safe. 4
He can remove the ponderous and useless armour made to chain his mind to fear
and misery. 5 His step is light, and as he lifts his foot to stride ahead a
star is left behind, to point the way to those who follow him.
W-pI.134.13. Forgiveness must be practiced, for the world
cannot perceive its meaning, nor provide a guide to teach you its beneficence.
2 There is no thought in all the world that leads to any understanding of the
laws it follows, nor the Thought that it reflects. 3 It is as alien to the
world as is your own reality. 4 And yet it joins your mind with the reality in
you.
W-pI.134.14. Today we practice true forgiveness, that the
time of joining be no more delayed. 2 For we would meet with our reality in
freedom and in peace. 3 Our practicing becomes the footsteps lighting up the
way for all our brothers, who will follow us to the reality we share with them.
4 That this may be accomplished, let us give a quarter of an hour twice today,
and spend it with the Guide Who understands the meaning of forgiveness, and was
sent to us to teach it. 5 Let us ask of Him:
6 Let me perceive forgiveness as it is.
W-pI.134.15. Then choose one brother as He will direct, and
catalogue his 'sins,' as one by one they cross your mind. 2 Be certain not to
dwell on any one of them, but realize that you are using his 'offenses' but to
save the world from all ideas of sin. 3 Briefly consider all the evil things
you thought of him, and each time ask yourself, 'Would I condemn myself for
doing this?'
W-pI.134.16. Let him be freed from all the thoughts you had
of sin in him. 2 And now you are prepared for freedom. 3 If you have been
practicing thus far in willingness and honesty, you will begin to sense a
lifting up, a lightening of weight across your chest, a deep and certain
feeling of relief. 4 The time remaining should be given to experiencing the
escape from all the heavy chains you sought to lay upon your brother, but were
laid upon yourself.
W-pI.134.17. Forgiveness should be practiced through the
day, for there will still be many times when you forget its meaning and attack
yourself. 2 When this occurs, allow your mind to see through this illusion as
you tell yourself:
3 Let me perceive forgiveness as it is. 4 Would I accuse
myself
of doing this? 5 I will not lay this chain upon myself.
6 In everything you do remember this:
7 No one is crucified alone, and yet no one can enter
Heaven by himself.
A Course in Miracles
One Way To Pray
Think of God. Review some of the things that you know to be
true about Him—His perfect goodness, infinite intelligence, all presence,
limitless power, unbounded love, and so forth. Claim that God who is all those
things, is with you—and believe it.
Read a few verses of Scripture or any spiritual book that
helps you.
Claim that it is really God who is making this prayer
through you—and believe it.
Say silently that you forgive everyone who may seem to need
it; without exception or mental reservation— and mean it.
Ask God to forgive You for all mistakes you have ever made;
and say you accept His forgiveness—and mean it.
Claim that God is now inspiring you, teaching you, and
healing you. Claim that He is giving you the greatest of all
gifts—HIMSELF—because, having Him, you will have everything else too. If there
is any specific thing, great or small, troubling your life, claim that He will
heal that—and believe it.
Give thanks for the privilege of visiting with God. Give
thanks in advance for the peace of mind, the harmony, and the spiritual growth
that this prayer is going to bring you—and mean it.
Make Your Life Worthwhile, Emmet Fox
DEMONSTRATING FORGIVENESS
'And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to
them likewise.' (Luke 6:31)
The forgiveness of others is the vestibule of Heaven. You
have to get rid of all resentment and condemnation of others, and, no least, of
self-condemnation and remorse. You have to forgive yourself, but you cannot forgive
yourself sincerely until you have forgiven others first.
Of course, nothing in all the world is easier than to
forgive people who have not hurt us very much. But what the Law of Being
requires of us is that we forgive the very things that are so hard to forgive
that at first it seems impossible to do it at all. But the Lord's Prayer makes
our own escape from guilt and limitation dependent upon just this very thing.
If your prayers are not being answered, search your
consciousness and see if there is not some old circumstance about which you are
still resentful. Search and see if you are not really holding a grudge against
some individual, or some group. If so, then you have an act of forgiveness to
perform, and when this is done, you will probably make your demonstration. If
you cannot forgive at present, you will have to wait for your demonstration
until you can, and you will have to postpone finishing your recital of the
Lord's Prayer too.
FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASS
'Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass
against us.' (Matthew 6:12)
This clause is the turning point of the Prayer. It is the
strategic key. Having told us what God is, what man is, how the universe works,
how we are to do our own work, what our true nourishment or supply is, and the
way in which we can obtain it, he now comes to the forgiveness of sins.
The forgiveness of sins is the central problem of life. Sin
is sense of separation from God, and is the major tragedy of human experience.
It is, of course, rooted in selfishness. It is essentially an attempt to gain
some supposed good to which we are not entitled in justice. It is a sense of
isolated, self-regarding, personal existence, whereas the Truth of Being is
that all is One. Our true selves are at one with God, undivided from Him,
expressing His ideas, witnessing to His nature. Because we are all one with the
great Whole of which we are spiritually a part, it follows that we are one with
all men.
Evil, sin, the fall of man, in fact, is essentially the
attempt to negate this Truth. We try to live apart from God. We act as though
we could have plans and purposes and interests separate from Him. All this, if
it were true, would mean that existence is not one and harmonious, but a chaos
of competition and strife. But, of course, it is not true, and therein lies the
joy of life.
AS WE FORGIVE
As we repeat the Great Prayer intelligently, we are suddenly
caught up and grasped as though in a vice, so that we must face this problem of
separation from God. We must extend forgiveness to everyone.
Notice that Jesus does not say, 'Forgive me my trespasses and
I will try to forgive others.' He obliges us to declare that we have actually
forgiven, and he makes our claim to our forgiveness to depend upon that. Who
could be so insane as to endeavour to seek the Kingdom of God without desiring
to be relieved of his own sense of guilt? We are trapped in the inescapable
position that we cannot demand our own release before we have released our
brother.
'Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my
thoughts.' (Psalm 139:23)
FREEDOM IN FORGIVENESS
'If ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father
will also forgive you' (Matthew 6:14)
Setting others free means setting yourself free, because
resentment is really a form of attachment. It is a cosmic truth that it takes
two to make a prisoner; a prisoner and a jailer. There is no such thing as
being a prisoner on one's own account. Moreover, the jailer is as much a
prisoner as his charge. When you hold resentment against anyone, you are bound
to that person by a mental chain. You are tied by a cosmic tie to the thing that
you hate. The one person perhaps in the whole world whom you most dislike is
the very one to whom you are attaching yourself by a hook that is stronger than
steel. Is this what you wish? Is this the condition in which you desire to go
on living? Remember, you belong to the thing with which you are linked in
thought, and at some time or other, if that tie endures, the object of your
resentment will be drawn again into your life, perhaps to work further havoc.
No one can afford such a thing; and so you must cut all such ties by a clear
act of forgiveness. You must loose him and let him go. By forgiveness you set
yourself free; you save your soul. And because the law of love works alike for
one and all, you help to save his soul too.
Around the Year With Emmet Fox, Emmet Fox
The method of forgiving is this: Get by yourself and become
quiet. Repeat any prayer or treatment that appeals to you, or read a chapter of
the Bible. Then quietly say, 'I fully and freely forgive X (mentioning the name
of the offender); I loose him and let him go. I completely forgive the whole
business in question. As far as I'm concerned, it is finished forever. I cast
the burden of resentment upon the Higher Power within me. He is free now, and I
am free too. I wish him well in every phase of his life. The incident is
finished. The Truth—universal harmony and peace—has set us both free. I thank
God.' Then get up and go about your business. On no account repeat this act of
forgiveness, because you have done it once and for all, and to do it a second
time would be tacitly to repudiate your own work. Afterward, whenever the
memory of the offender or the offence happens to come into your mind, bless the
delinquent briefly and dismiss the thought. Do this, however many times the
thought may come back. After a few days it will return less and less often,
until you forget it altogether.
Adapted from Emmet Fox