Wednesday, 15 January 2014
The solution to fear
When I am frightened I think I am going to feel bad.
Cowardice: I can be a big baby about bad feelings and simply not believe I will be able to handle the feelings, or I might merely be disinclined to feel them. The truth is that feeling bad will not kill me, and with the resources of AA around me my attitudes, thinking, and actions can be kept on beam so I do not add a superstructure of self-pity and anger etc. on top of the feelings.
Ingratitude: when ninety-six things are going my way but four are not, to be worried about those four rather than grateful for the ninety-six is ingratitude. Gratitude is the solution to this.
Entitlement: other people get to feel pain but I should not have to. A wake-up call from reality is what is required here: things are going to happen that I do not like, just as they will to other people, too.
Self-reliance: if I have been living out of ego I will have been causing lots of the things I am scared of. If I am attached to sex, money, power, prestige, comfort, thrills, and appearance, these are innately unstable and vulnerable, so fear is automatic. If I have not been turning to God in whatsoever form I will not have been accessing the requisite strength to deal with vicissitudes with courage and cheer, so projecting that forward makes potentially difficult situations fearful.
If I have not gotten past prior harms done to me, through forgiveness, I will fear future ones, which will merely add to the burden.
If I have not gotten past prior harms I have done, through amends, I will fear future ones, which will merely add to the burden.
The solution: pray to God for courage, count my blessings, accept the bad with the good, drop my self-centred plans, forgive everyone for everything, and make every amend.
If my reliance is on God to provide me everything I need to be happy, joyous, and free, there is nothing to be frightened of. If my reliance is on me to get what I need from the material world, I will be frightened as the material world is unstable.
All my fear comes from self-reliance. Reliance on God is the only solution.